Frank Harmon: Miss... I don't pick up hitchhikers.
Breezy: That's the best news I've heard all day.
Maj. Warden: I belong to a rather rum group called Force 316. Our headquarters is up in the botanical gardens.
Commander Shears: Protecting rare plants from the enemy?
Major Hughes: Jennings has a plan, sir. He seems to think.
Colonel Nicholson: Yes, I'm sure Jennings has a plan. But escape? Where, into this jungle? That fellow Saito was right: no need for barbed wire or fence, one chance in a hundred of survival. I'm sure a man of Commander Shears' experience will attest to that.
Commander Shears: I'd say the odds against a successful escape are about 100 to one. But may I add another word, Colonel? The odds against survival in this camp are even worse.
Lieutenant Joyce: I'm sorry, Sir. I thought you were the enemy.
Commander Shears: Well, I'm an American, if that's what you mean.
Commander Shears: I can think of a lot of things to call Saito, but "reasonable " that's a new one.
Lt. Harry Brubaker: I'm a lawyer from Denver, Colorado.
Mike Forney: Judas, how'd you wind up in a smelly ditch in Korea?
Lt. Harry Brubaker: I was just asking myself that same question.
Lt. Harry Brubaker: Did you ever hear Admiral Tarrant go on about the war? About the chosen few who have to lay it on the line?
Mike Forney: Naw, me and Nester don't do too much fraternizing with admirals.
Georgie Elgin: Frank's on stage.
Bernie Dodd: I know. I want to talk to you.
Georgie Elgin: The last time we talked, Mr. Dodd, you reduced me to tears. I promise you, it won't happen again.
Bernie Dodd: Does your wife really want you to play this part?
Frank Elgin: Yeah, she's all for it.
Bernie Dodd: I was just wondering. The day I met her, she seemed a little difficult about terms and rather domineering, I thought.
Frank Elgin: She wasn't always like that.
Bernie Dodd: Oh I know, I know. They all start out as Juliets and wind up as Lady Macbeths.
Ann Thorn: What are you doing?
Richard Thorn: The daggers must be here somewhere.
Ann Thorn: What you want them for? No! No.
Richard Thorn: He's not human.
Ann Thorn: He's your brother's son, he's a boy you've loved for seven years.
Richard Thorn: The boy has got to die.
Lt. Col. Robert T. Frederick: They say you find what something is worth when you pay for it.
Diana Christensen: The time has come to re-evaluate our relationship, Max.
Max Schumacher: So I see.
Diana Christensen: I don't like the way this script of ours has turned out. It's turning into a seedy little drama.
Max Schumacher: You're going to cancel the show?
Diana Christensen: Right.
Howard Beale: No, no. I'm gonna blow my brains out right on the air, right in the middle of the 7 o'clock news.
Max Schumacher: You'll get a hell of a rating, I'll guarantee you that. 50 share easy.
Secretary: Mr. Hackett's trying to get through to you.
Max Schumacher: Tell Mr. Hackett to go fuck himself.
Max Schumacher: She does have one script in which I kill myself: An adapted for television version of "Anna Karenina", where she's Count Vronsky and I'm Anna.
Max Schumacher: I feel lousy about the pain that I've caused my wife and kids. I feel guilty and conscience-stricken, and all of those things you think sentimental, but which my generation calls simple human decency. And I miss my home, because I'm beginning to get scared shitless, because all of a sudden it's closer to the end than the beginning, and death is suddenly a perceptible thing to me, with definable features.
Max Schumacher: We could make a series of it. "Suicide of the Week." Aw, hell, why limit ourselves?"Execution of the Week."
Howard Beale: "Terrorist of the Week."
Max Schumacher: I love it. Suicides, assassinations, mad bombers, Mafia hitmen, automobile smash-ups: "The Death Hour." A great Sunday night show for the whole family. It'd wipe that fuckin' Disney right off the air.
Tim Culley: What'd you give him?
Dr. Irving Finegarten: Oh, a pinch of this, a dash of that. Sometimes referred to in the trade as a Sleeping Beauty Boilermaker. Take no notice if he begins to levitate. It's a common side effect.
Dr. Irving Finegarten: What is that?
Tim Culley: Sounds like someone left a faucet running.
Ben Coogan: I'm peeing.
Dr. Irving Finegarten: Into what?
Ben Coogan: My pants.
Sally Miles: You know, you are sexually notorious.
Tim Culley: Semi-fraudulent reputation - which I do everything I can to encourage.
Sally Miles: Why?
Tim Culley: Because it's the best way for an old man to compete in a young man's world.
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