Quotes from Ty Burrell movies and TV shows

Phil Dunphy: Gotta fix that step.

Judge: Mr. Peabody, you are a Nobel Prize-winning scientist. An advisor to heads of state. A captain of industry. Why would you want to adopt a boy?
Mr. Peabody: Because, your honor, when I found Sherman, it reminded me of how I started out in life. And now, I want to give him the one thing I always wanted. A home.
Judge: And you're sure you're capable of meeting all the challenges of raising a human boy?
Mr. Peabody: With all due respect, how hard could it be?

Mr. Peabody: Why can't children be so simple?
Leonardo da Vinci: Because children are not machines, Peabody. Believe me, I tried to build one. Oh! It was creepy.

Mr. Peabody: You used time-travel improperly... we must rewrite history in order to save the universe.

Mr. Peabody: This is the greatest collection of geniuses ever assembled! Surely we can come up with another way of getting to the past.
Leonardo da Vinci: I can-a build a catapult. And, we go very fast.
Albert Einstein: But, remember, as you approach the speed of light, gravity will get too strong.
Isaac Newton: Oh, indeed. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."
Agamemnon: How about we just punch that big hole in the face?

Sherman: Oh, this water tastes terrible.
Mr. Peabody: Interestingly, that's not water.

Mr. Peabody: You used the wabac?
Sherman: Yeah... she was into it.

Mr. Peabody: Sherman, don't you remember why I told you to stay close to me during the French Revolution?
Sherman: Because after the French Revolution, it was gonna rain?
Mr. Peabody: Close. I said "After the French Revolution comes... the Reign of Terror!"

Penny Peterson: I'm gonna have a big, fat, Egyptian wedding.
Mr. Peabody: Spoiler alert, King Tut dies young. Are you sure you've thought this through?
Penny Peterson: Oh, trust me, I've thought it through. I'm getting everything.

Sherman: Who is he?
Mr. Peabody: He is Ay.
Sherman: He is you?
Ay: I am Ay. The Grand Vizier.

Mr. Peabody: I received my degree at Harvard. Vale-dog-torian, of course.

Paul Peterson: So, he's literally a dog.
Patty Peterson: Paul.
Mr. Peabody: No, that's all right. Although, I prefer the term "literate dog."

Mr. Peabody: If I didn't know any better, Sherman, I would say you were jealous.
Sherman: Jealous? Of what?
Mr. Peabody: Tut's affection for Penny, of course.
Sherman: You think I like Penny?
Mr. Peabody: Mm-hmm.

Mr. Peabody: Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, they get married too young in Ancient Egypt... or perhaps I'm just some old Giza.

Mr. Peabody: It seems we've ripped a hole in the space-time continuum.
Sherman: Looks like the past is coming to us.