Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
Cady: Regina, wow, you look really beautiful.
Regina: I'm wearing a spinal halo.
Cady: Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault.
Regina: Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus.
Cady: I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too.
Regina: Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... And I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.
Regina: Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even...whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean, right? She was a lesbian! So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
Gretchen: Growing up female in this world is not easy. In China, baby girls are routinely put up for adoption. And in parts of Africa, women are still made to live in tents during the time of their menses.
Karen: Ew!
Gretchen: And even in fancy countries like the United States and England, seven out of ten girls have a negative body image.
Regina George: Who cares? Six of those girls are right!
Regina: I know, right?
Inez: You always take the side of the help. That's why Daddy says you're a communist.
Noah: I'm not usually like this, I'm sorry.
Allie: Oh yes you are.
Noah: I could be fun, if you want. I could be pensive, uhh... Smart, supersticious, brave? And I, uhh, I can be light on my feet. I could be whatever you want. You just tell me what you want, and I'm gonna be that for you.
Allie: ...You're dumb.
Noah: I could be that.
Noah: Come on, one date, what's it gonna hurt?
Allie: Mmm, I don't think so.
Noah: Well what can I do to change your mind?
Noah: Would you stay with me?
Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'.
Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. Because I know you'll have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Allie: When I'm with Noah I feel like one person and when I'm with you I feel like someone totally different.
Lon: Allie, it's normal not to forget your first love but I want you for myself. I don't want to convince my fiancée that she should be with me.
Allie: You don't have to. I already know I should be with you.
Lisa Reisert: Is it Jack for short?
Jackson Ripner: No. I haven't gone by Jack since I was ten years old. Last name's Ripner.
Lisa Reisert: Jack Ripner... Jack the... Oh!
Jackson Ripner: There you go.
Lisa Reisert: That wasn't very nice of your parents.
Jackson Ripner: That's what I told them. Before I killed them.
Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?
Maureen Hope: Billy Hope knows how to take a punch, but he also drops bombs.
Della Frye: Did we just break the law?
Cal McAffrey: Nope. That's what you call damn fine reporting.
Paige: Are you trying to make me diabetic or just fat?
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