Quotes from Oliver Platt movies and TV shows

Carl Anheuser: You're telling me that the North Pole is now some where in Wisconsin?
Professor West: Actually, that's the South Pole now.

Maffio Venier: May sing... and rhyme... and more. Still... is at best a slut... with every horny mutt! You pride yourself on arts and letters, and fucking best your manly betters.
Veronica Franco: I save the goodly wives of Venice from their husbands' lustful menace.

Veronica Franco: Recant the curse you give my kind. Admit I have, as you, a heart and mind.
Maffio Venier: A greedy hand, an empty heart is all that wrests your legs apart.

Gabriel Caine: Do you know the difference between a hustler and a good con-man?
Fitz: No.
Gabriel Caine: A hustler has to get out of town as quick as he can, but a good con-man - he doesn't have to leave until he wants to.

Dr. Mark Weller: John, do me a favor. Don't ever confide in me. I'm utterly useless in these areas. I'm really a very self-absorbed man.

Tommy Fawkes: Why do all the best things in life belong to the past?

Kelly Scott: [On the phone.] Thank you, it's so rewarding to imagine my tax dollar finding its way to you, you fuckshit!
Hector Cyr: You are a saucy flirt.

Hector Cyr: She tell you that we had sex together? So vigorous!
Kelly Scott: I never had sex with you!
Hector Cyr: I'm horrible in bed. They never remember.

Sheriff Hank Keough: I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean.
Hector Cyr: Well, they conceal information like that in books.

Hector Cyr: I'm a civilian, not a trout - you have no authority over me whatsoever.

Sheriff Hank Keough: Crocodiles can't swim in salt water.
Hector Cyr: Yeah, well, that'll be your little secret.

Deputy Sharon Gare: Seems like we're getting lower.
Hector Cyr: That's what happens when I land.

Hector Cyr: I could probably cut him down, but there's this odd look of mayhem on his upside-down face.

Jim Burns: I can think of one memory. She was wearing a pink nightgown.
Timmy Burns: That was ME.

Jimmy King: I got three words for you, baby! Nine One One.

Goldberg: Can you... say it now?
Cashier: I'm your bitch and you're my daddy.
Jimmy King: Rolled right off his tongue.

Jimmy King: Wakie Wakie, Hands off Snakey.

Athos: Only a fool would try and arrest us twice in one day.
Guard: You're under arrest.
Porthos/Aramis: A fool.
Guard: Are you coming peacefully or do you intend to resist?
Porthos: Oh, don't be so stupid, of course we intend to resist. Just give us a moment.

Porthos: Go home. Find a wench. Raise fat babies and have a good, long life.

Peter Steinberg: You've made your big gay bed and now you must slumber gaily in it.