Quotes from Michael Douglas movies and TV shows - page 3 of 5

Steve Tobias: This wedding is going to be as normal as butter on mashed potatoes.

Steve Tobias: We're the CIA.
Angela Harris: Great, now I have to kill him.

Mitchell Gromberg: Alex, you're a much better father than I was.
Alex Gromberg: Thank you. But you didn't exactly set the bar all that high.

Billy: Welcome to Las Vegas.
Paddy: Relax, Gershon, it's not like you invented it.

Billy: Why every time the phone rings you think somebody is dying.
Sam: I live in Florida now, usually when the phone rings somebody is dying.

Young Paddy: No one calls us names except for us.
Young Billy: This fight us gonna make us legends. Run.

Archie: We're all here to celebrate Billy marrying an infant.
Billy: She's not an infant.

Randy: There's the ten-thousand dollars... well, aren't you gonna count it?
Mr. Burmeister: Nah.
Randy: You trust me?
Mr. Burmeister: No, but I kill people.

Joan Wilder: You're a mondo dismo.
Jack Colton: I'm... what am I? I'm what?
Joan Wilder: You're a man who takes money from stranded women.

Joan Wilder: These were Italian.
Jack Colton: Now they're practical.

Jack Colton: One hell of a morning has turned into a bitch of a day.

Jack Colton: What's the matter, are you paralyzed from the neck up, or are you hurt?

Joan Wilder: Which way to do we go?
Jack Colton: Follow that stone.

Jack Colton: Now I ain't cheap, but I can be had.

Jack Colton: Goddamn it, I knew I should've listened to my mother. I could've been a cosmetic surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass.

Jack Colton: Wait a minute, he's after you. Who the hell are you?
Joan Wilder: Well, I'm a romance novelist.
Jack Colton: You're what? What are you doing here?
Joan Wilder: I told you, my sister's life depends on me.
Jack Colton: Ah, don't give me that shit. I thought you were donating a kidney or something.

Jack Colton: I think I'm going to throw another key on the fire.
Joan Wilder: No, please, I'm getting dizzy.

Jack Colton: Lady, you are a jinx.

Joan Wilder: You're the best time I've ever had.
Jack Colton: I've never been anybody's best time.

Joan Wilder: What about the bridge?
Jack Colton: That ain't a bridge. That's goddamned pre-Columbian art.