Quotes from Melissa McCarthy movies and TV shows - page 2 of 2

Rick Ford: You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm.
Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...
Rick Ford: During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama.
Susan Cooper: In black-face? That's not appropriate.
Rick Ford: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.
Susan Cooper: Jesus, you're intense.

Rayna Boyanov: My father used to bring people like you here.
Susan Cooper: Did he also make you dress like a slutty dolphin trainer?

Susan Cooper: I look like someone's homophobic aunt.

Bradley Fine: Nice drone work, Coop. I could kiss you!
Susan Cooper: Oh, haha, well I would accept that with an open mouth.

Oliver: He's paying me hourly.
Vincent: I'm showing him how the world works. You work, you get paid, you drink.
Maggie: You're drinking alcohol?
Vincent: ...I honestly don't remember.

Tammy: Once I got fingered by Boz Scaggs.
Pearl: Oh, Tammy.
Tammy: No, it's okay. It turns out it wasn't Boz Scaggs.

Quantom X ★

Tammy: That's not chicken. I don't know what it is, but it's not bird.
Keith Morgan: I can promise you that's 110% bird.
Tammy: Bird doesn't come out of a squeezy tube!

Quantom X ★

Keith Morgan: Tammy, do you know how I got to where I am?
Tammy: Sucking dick and kissing ass?

Tammy: What's Brookview?
Pearl: An old folks home; like a prison for old people.

Lydia Berman: You know, killing people's not a recognized hobby!
Laser: I can't knit.