Quotes from Marlon Wayans movies and TV shows

Loc Dog: Well, I can see how a pretty little woman like yourself can make a man a little sick - I mean, nervous.

Loc Dog: Hey! Ms. Lady Bitch, I'm talking to you. How much for this candy bar?
Korean Woman: Das five dala.
Loc Dog: Five dollars? Damn! I better get some sucky-sucky with that! Love me long time or something?

Loc Dog: "The Dog" don't bite... unless ya ask.

Loc Dog: Everyone in the hood been up in her! She got more kids than Mrs. Wayans.

Ridley: We gotta save Marina.
Snails: Wait. What about the dwarf?
Ridley: You get the dwarf. I'll get the girl.
Snails: Wait, how come I always gotta get the dwarf?

Snails: I got a new name for "dumb": "Ridley"! This is the Ridleyest thing I've ever heard.

Hannah Steele: Um, are you stalking me, Mr. Black?
Christian Black: Hahaha! Yes.

Christian Black: I got my money the way most black entrepreneurs got theirs.
Hannah Steele: Real estate?
Christian Black: Drug dealing.

Breaker: Thousands of miles across and ten stories thick, locating McCullen's base will be like finding a needle in a coal mine.
Ripcord: Haystack.
Breaker: Oh, right. Haystack in a coal mine.

Heavy Duty: What you see before you are Delta-6 accelerator suits...
Ripcord: What do they accelerate?
Heavy Duty: You.

Malcolm: You made a deal with the devil for a pair of shoes?
Kisha: Not shoes, Malcolm! Louboutins, okay?

Malcolm: Who am I kidding? I can't sell a house in this market! Immediate possession? It's already possessed.

Malcolm: Oh, my God! What did you do?
Father Williams: Shit, I did you a favor.
Malcolm: Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Rosa.
Rosa: I just wanted my last check, Malcolm.
Malcolm: Oh, my God, you shot my housekeeper.
Father Williams: You mean, your ex-housekeeper. Look, man, the bitch can't be jumping out on me like that. You ain't gonna tell nobody, right? I got warrants.

Gawain MacSam: Would you tell this muthafucka he can sew this shit back on? It's like that dude whose wife cut his dick off, threw it on the freeway? She just called Triple A, they towed the dick and sewed the muthafucka back on. Listen up, jackass, I saw the muthafucka in a porno, the thang still worked, it looked like a chewed-up frank, but that little muthafucka be workin' that muthafucka. It's mangly, but he be fuckin' the bitch all kind of ways with a twisted dick.

Calvin: Baby, up up.

Tyrone C. Love: California, here we come.
Harry Goldfarb: It's Florida, Ty. Florida.
Tyrone C. Love: California, Florida, whatever. Either way, your pale ass is getting a tan.

Shorty: Polly want a cracker?
Polly: Polly wants your mama's sweet ass.
Shorty: What did Polly say to me?
Polly: I said, "Polly wants your mama's sweet ass."
Shorty: You don't be talkin' 'bout my mama, son. You don't know my mama, son.
Polly: Yeah, I know your mama. I fucked her last night.
Shorty: You want beef? I'll fuck you up.

Latrell Spencer: Oh the deception. The betrayal. Man you deceived me.
Marcus Copeland: Look man.
Latrell Spencer: Negro please. Didn't any one tell you that this was an all white party, huh? Someone get this jiggaboo away from me.

Marcus Copeland: Look King Kong. Why don't you take you and your "1980 pick-up lines", climb all the way up to the top of the Empire State building, beat on your big old monkey chest and then jump off? Excuse me.

Kevin Copeland: Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourselves. Look, all we gotta is if, if, if.
Marcus Copeland: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. "We?" Kevin, this ain't about "we." It's never been. It's about you. You come up with some stupid idea and I'm dumb enough to go along with it. And look where its gotten me, Kevin. I just lost my wife and my job because of you. So, don't tell me about "we" no more, all right?