Louis Reed: Sometimes it pays to be a nerd, guys.
Adam: Well, I'd say Bring Your Kid to Work Day was a huge success.
Louis Reed: Uh-huh.
Young Adam: Yep.
Louis Reed: I'm the godfather of time travel?
Adam: "The Adam Project."
Natasha Romanoff: This is the Tesseract, it has the potential energy to wipe out the entire planet.
Bruce Banner: What does Fury want me to do, swallow it?
Tony Stark: You know, you should come by Stark Tower sometime. Top ten floors. All R&D.
Bruce Banner: Thanks, but the last time I was in New York, I kind of broke Harlem.
Tony Stark: Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
Bruce Banner: Thanks.
Captain America: Dr. Banner. Now might be a really good time for you to get angry.
Bruce Banner: That's my secret, Cap. I'm always angry.
Dan: You can tell a lot about a person by what's on their playlist.
Greta: I know you can. That's what's worrying me.
Dan: I'm a producer because I don't play bass, baby.
Greta: You can't sign me and I don't want to be signed.
Dan: That's right! What's not to like?
Miriam Hart: No girls like her, she is distant, and basically the only people that want to hang out with her are older boys who want to fuck her.
Dan: Oh really? And you find that a big surprise? You let her walk out of the house looking like, fuck, Jodie Foster from Taxi Driver.
Miriam Hart: She dresses the way she wants to. And besides, any daughter who dresses like that only wants one thing.
Dan: A pimp?
Stephen: Can I get a 'wow'?
Narrator: Another home, another main street. Stephen looked around, then summed the burgh up thusly...
Young Stephen: Bloom, we've hit a one hat town. One theater. One car wash. One café. One park. One cat. Which, through some mishap, had one leg.
Stephen: Have at thee, you ham-headed bastards.
Stephen: The perfect con is one where everyone involved gets just what they wanted.
Stephen: We're a genius, Bloom.
Stephen: I have at different times in my life, sold sand to an Arab and ice to an Eskimo.
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