Quotes from Keith Gordon movies and TV shows

Lou: Come here. I want to tell you something.
Jason Melon: What?
Lou: You were pretty hard on your father last night.
Jason Melon: I know, but the guy doesn't understand.
Lou: I know your pop thirty years. He understands. He's a nice guy, and he's tough. Like me. I'm nice, and I'm tough. I'll give you an idea what I mean. My two boys, I put one through college and the other I put through a wall. Your papa loves you. He's lookin' out for ya. Look out for him.

Thornton Melon: Boy, what a great-looking place. When I used to dream about going to college, this is the way I always pictured it.
Jason Melon: Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
Thornton Melon: When I used to fall asleep in high school.

Thornton Melon: When's our first class?
Jason Melon: Uh, we got Economics tomorrow at 11 o'clock.
Thornton Melon: 11 o'clock? No good. I got a massage 11 o'clock. Tell 'em to make it 2 o'clock.
Jason Melon: No, dad. Uh, you don't get it. They're not gonna re-schedule the classes around your massage.
Thornton Melon: All right, 11 o'clock, but I'm gonna talk to that Dean. I mean, these classes could be a real inconvenience.

Arnie Cunningham: Okay... show me.

Arnie Cunningham: Oh man, there is nothing finer than being behind the wheel of your own car! Except maybe for pussy.

Arnie Cunningham: Whoa, whoa. You better watch what you say about my car. She's real sensitive.

George LeBay: Her name's Christine.
Arnie Cunningham: I like that.
Dennis Guilder: Come on Arnie, we gotta get goin', huh?
George LeBay: My asshole brother bought her back in September '57. That's when you got your new model year, in September. Brand-new, she was. She had the smell of a brand-new car. That's just about the finest smell in the world, 'cept maybe for pussy.

Rudolph Junkins: I understand, uh, one of the perpetrators, uh, defecated on the dashboard. Now, I woulda thought you'd be madder than hell at that. And I thought you woulda reported that.
Arnie Cunningham: Shit wipes off.

Arnie Cunningham: Has it ever occurred to you that part of being a parent is tryin' to kill your kids?

Billie Jean: Lloyd, do you make videos?
Lloyd: All the time.
Billie Jean: What about copies?
Lloyd: I can make as many as you want... You are absolutely right.
Ophelia: What's she talking about?
Lloyd: She's gonna answer their call.

Lloyd: I'm done being your hostage.
Billie Jean: Fine, I'll see you in jail.

Ophelia: You're supposed to be taking your medication! Your father says please give him his pills.
Lloyd: I haven't had a pill since we left the house, haven't wheezed once.

Putter: Is that a boy or a girl?
Lloyd: Girl, Joan of Arc. She dressed up as a man and led the French in fighting the English. She heard voices, 'stop being a peasant', 'France needs you', 'the truth needs you'. And she won, she beat the English, but then.
Putter: Then what?
Lloyd: The French, burnt her, alive.

Billie Jean: You ever been to Vermont?
Lloyd: Sure, on ski trips.
Billie Jean: Maybe we should go there tonight, all of us, hitchhike.
Lloyd: You can't do that, not now, everybody knows you, they want to see you get the money.
Billie Jean: They want to see us dead, remember Joan of Arc?