Electra: Listen, I'm in way over my head here mister. I just want out.
Benny: So why'd you leave?
Ruthie: L.A.? I wasn't that good of an actress.
Benny: Well, that's not how Sam tells it. He's raving about you.
Ruthie: Yeah, well, he's sweeter than he is judgmental. How long have you known him?
Benny: Sam? Uh, 72 hours.
Ruthie: Be serious.
Benny: I am... serious.
Ruthie: Really?
Benny: I'm always serious. I'm too serious.
Maude Lebowski: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: 'Scuse me?
Maude Lebowski: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
Maude Lebowski: You're not interested in sex?
The Dude: You mean coitus?
[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude.]
Sherry: [on video.] You must be here to fix the cable.
Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Uh, is that what this is a picture of?
Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
The Dude: Oh yeah?
Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
The Dude: Johnson?
Margaret White: You know the devil never dies, keeps coming back. But you gotta keep killing him.
Catherine Stewart: My husband's cheating on me. At least, I think he is.
Catherine Stewart: Did you find that waitress sexy?
David Stewart: Which one?
Catherine Stewart: The one you were flirting with.
David Stewart: Oh come on, I was being friendly.
Catherine Stewart: This business transaction, which is what this was, is over!
Evan Hansen: If you knew who I am, how broken I am.
Heidi Hansen: I already know you. And I love you.
Maurice Bendrix: I'm jealous of this stocking.
Sarah Miles: Why?
Maurice Bendrix: Because it does what I can't. Kisses your whole leg. And I'm jealous of this button.
Sarah Miles: Poor, innocent button.
Maurice Bendrix: It's not innocent at all. It's with you all day. I'm not.
Sarah Miles: I suppose you're jealous of my shoes?
Maurice Bendrix: Yes.
Sarah Miles: Why?
Maurice Bendrix: Because they'll take you away from me.
Cathy Whitaker: Oh, Raymond, Mrs. Whitaker sounds so formal! Won't you please... ask me to dance?
Cathy Whitaker: That was the day I stopped believing in the wild ardor of things. Perhaps in love, as well. That kind of love. The love in books and films. The love that tells us to abandon our lives and plans, all for one brief touch of Venus. So often we fail at that kind of love. The world just seems too fragile a place for it. And of every other kind, life remains full. Perhaps it's just we who are too fragile.
Telly Paretta: At first I thought it had something to do with the plane crash. Remember when that TWA plane crashed over Long Island? Everybody thought it was a missile, friendly fire, or some type of government cover-up.
Ash Correll: Yeah, I remember that.
Telly Paretta: But then I thought, you know, 'How could the government erase our memories?' Its just not possible. So.
Ash Correll: What?
Telly Paretta: So you don't think I'm out of my mind?
Ash Correll: I don't anymore.
Telly Paretta: Do you get drunk every night?
Ash Correll: No. Sometimes I'm drunk by noon.
Jim Paretta: I think it's great, you're starting to write again. What's your book going to be about?
Telly Paretta: Psychotic women, and the men who love them.
Telly Paretta: Please tell me, no one will know that you spoke to us. I swear to you.
Cop: They're listening.
Sarah Palin: Did you get the numbers?
Nicolle Wallace: The what?
Sarah Palin: My approval rating in Alaska.
Nicolle Wallace: They're not in yet.
Sarah Palin: I'm trying to trust you people, but you're making it really hard for me.
Steve Schmidt: You seem totally unfazed by all this.
Sarah Palin: It's God's plan.
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