Quotes from John Witherspoon movies and TV shows

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Mr. Wuncler, I'm... sorry about the whole, you know, my grandson shooting your grandson out of the window thing. Are you mad?
Ed Wuncler: In 30 years, that boy will be the President of the United States. And he'll still be a fucking idiot. Now, are we gonna have that drink or what?

Riley Freeman: Gangstalicious got shot.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Again?
Riley Freeman: We got to do something.
Huey Freeman: I've got an idea! Why don't we go to college so we don't end up like gangstalicious?

Ed Wuncler: The only joy I get from these parties is standing around telling mean-spirited jokes at other people's expense.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I do that, too.
Ed Wuncler: Check out that guy. Why is his face all twisted up like that? Looks like he jacks off with Icy Hot. He looks like he just shit a gerbil.

Mr. Jones: I look better than you.
Uncle Elroy: You don't.
Mr. Jones: I cook better than you.
Uncle Elroy: You can't.
Mr. Jones: My dick is bigger than yours.
Uncle Elroy: It was cold that night.

Mr. Jones: Hey, young man! You got knocked the fuck out.

Mr. Jones: Can't even count to ten and you win the lottery, aint that a bitch.