Quotes from John Goodman movies and TV shows - page 2 of 4

Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... With nail polish. These fucking amateurs.

The Dude: I only said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself. You're the one who's so fucking certain!
Walter Sobchak: That's right, Dude. 100% certain.

Walter Sobchak: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.
Donny: They were Nazis, Dude?
Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?

The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch...
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov!

Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Walter Sobchak: Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

Pacha: Oh no.
Kuzco: Let me guess, we're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yup.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: Bring it on.

John Hobbes: I don't know. I can't seem to get my mind around it. I got a bad feeling about this.
Jonesy: Yeah, me too. Somebody is playing with my dick, and it ain't me.

John Hobbes: Why are we here? Us, humans? I mean there's six billion of us, we're like ants, I mean do we care what ants do, from a moral standpoint?
Jonesy: No. Maybe if you figure it out, you die, you know from a stroke or a heart attack, you just die, sort of like a promotion.

Jonesy: If it wasn't for pizza and other fine Italian foods, there would be no happiness.

John Hobbes: You take any cop on the force, cream or no, ninety-nine percent of the time they're doing their job, aren't they?
Jonesy: Ninety-nine five.
John Hobbes: Point five. So he or she, cream or no, is doing more good out there every day than any lawyer or stockbroker or president of the United States can ever do in their lifetime. Cops are the chosen people.

Harling Mays: Oh, I almost forgot. I got you some stroke mags. I've been in the hospital before, I know what you need. I got Juggs, Hot MILFs in Heat, AssMasters. You just stroke it all day, you're a hero.

Harling Mays: You're a hero, man! You will never pay for a drink for as long as you live.

Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man.
Barney Rubble: Not from the back.

Cliff Vandercave: I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
Fred Flintstone: Done! Wait, fire Barney, why?
Cliff Vandercave: Well, he scored the lowest on the company aptitude test. He's an imbecile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll.
Fred Flintstone: But Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage, I'm his best friend, I can't.
Cliff Vandercave: Look, Fred, if you don't fire him, I will, and then I'll fire you.

Wilma Flintstone: We have scrimped and saved for that money, and every time we get a little bit ahead, you have to go blow it on some hair-brained scheme.
Fred Flintstone: Now see here, Wilma! In this cave, I am the king! And.
Wilma Flintstone: And what, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: And you have every right to know, my queen.