Quotes from Jesse Eisenberg movies and TV shows - page 3 of 3

Erica Albright: I think we should just be friends.
Mark Zuckerberg: I don't want friends.
Erica Albright: I was being polite, I had no intention of being friends with you.

Gage: Did you initially give $1000 to be used in the startup of theFacebook.com?
Eduardo Saverin: Yes.
Gage: And then did you also give an additional $18000 after that?
Eduardo Saverin: Yes.
Gage: So $1000 plus $18000 makes a total of $19000 that you gave...
Mark Zuckerberg: Hang on, wait... I just want to check your math. [Writes on some paper.] Yeah OK, go on.

Walt Berkman: It's Welles' masterpiece, really. Many people think it's Citizen Kane, but Magnificent Ambersons, if it hadn't been ruined by the studio, would've been his crowning achievement. As it is, it's still brilliant. It's the old story, genius not being recognized by the industry.
Lance: It sounds great. Who's in it?
Walt Berkman: Orson Welles? I don't know, I haven't seen it yet. I've seen stills.

Walt Berkman: Ls Mom letting you drink soda?
Frank Berkman: Beer.
Walt Berkman: Since when do you drink beer?
Frank Berkman: Since recently.

Walt Berkman: It's like... we were pals then... we'd do things together... we'd look at the knight armor at the Met. The scary fish at the Natural History Museum. I was always afraid of the squid and whale fighting. I can only look at it with my hands in front of my face.

Gemma: Did you see the boy?
Tom: No.
Gemma: He's gone missing.
Tom: Well, so have we.

Columbus: You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.

Columbus: The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... Were the fatties.

Tallahassee: Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where's the fucking Twinkies?!
Columbus: I love Sno-Balls.
Tallahassee: I HATE coconut. Not the taste, the consistency.

Columbus: You know there's a place untouched by all this crap?
Tallahassee: Out east, yeah?
Columbus: Yeah.
Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it's out east, out east they hear it's out west. It's all bullshit. It's like you're a penguin at the North Pole hears the South Pole is real nice this time of year.
Columbus: There are no penguins in the North Pole.
Tallahassee: You wanna feel how hard I can punch?

Columbus: Oh, Bill Murray.
Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: I've never hit a kid before... But that's like asking who Gandhi is.
Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?
[Tallahassee looks annoyed.]
Wichita: She's 12.

Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so uh... That'll do, pig.
Columbus: That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard. And you stole it from a movie.

Columbus: Fuck this clown.

Columbus: You're like a giant... Cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab.

Columbus: When Tallahassee goes hulk on a zombie, he sets the standard for "not to be fucked with."

Columbus: In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... Coulda... Shoulda.

Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a little girl?
Columbus: She was like a crouching tiger...
Tallahassee: She's twelve!
Columbus: Well, girls mature way faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.
Little Rock: Twelve's the new twenty.

Tallahassee: Wow, these fellas really let themselves go.
Columbus: And they're so fat.

Columbus: Oh America, or at least I wish I could tell you that this was still America.

[They drive up to a gate that has a BM on it.]
Columbus: Hey, look there's a big BM on the gate.
Tallahassee: It ain't Bob Marley.