Quotes from Jeremy Piven movies and TV shows

Cynthia Morales: No, no, no, let me ask you something, Weiss. Do you actually get women like this? I was really curious if there were actually women out there in the world who walk by the construction lunch break which is your very personality and say: "Oh, yeah, please. Baby, give it to me. Give me some of that hard hat, right here, right now." There are actually women like that?
Alan Weiss: A couple.

Cynthia Morales: Love is not always that easy, Anna.
Alan Weiss: Nothing worth getting ever is.

Cynthia Morales: Well maybe you should stop overcompensating, you're a good looking... I mean you look fine some women like a bald head.
Alan Weiss: I am not bald yet.
Cynthia Morales: I'm just saying maybe you should embrace it. You could cut it real short... some women like that they find it sexy.

Ari Gold: Do you know how hard I have worked to avoid going to Texas? Do you know what they do to Jews in Texas?

Ari Gold: Did I tell you the Jewish Journal just named me "Best Looking Circumcised Studio Head"?

Larsen McCredle: This man treated my son like a horse's ass, which he is, but that's not really the point. You said you had a son, Gold?
Ari Gold: I do. He's 12.
Larsen McCredle: Well I hope when he grows up he's not a complete and utter fuckin' buffoon like mine, but just in case he is, I hope the people that respect you at least pretend to respect him.

Mrs. Ari: It's 2 AM. You sat down to watch this movie at midnight.
Ari Gold: I'm mentally prepping. I'm gonna start now. Wanna join me?
Mrs. Ari: You said I couldn't.
Ari Gold: Well you can blow me through it in case it sucks.

Travis McCredle: Fuck me. Is that Emily Ratajkowski over there talking to Vinnie Chase?
Eric Murphy: Sure is.
Ari Gold: You want to meet her?
Travis McCredle: I want to marry her, but you have to start somewhere.

Eric Murphy: We can't finish the movie without money.
Ari Gold: Really? Because I thought we could finish it with Fruit Loops.
Eric Murphy: You're funny. But did you tell Vince, because he's on his way to editing.
Ari Gold: I'm telling you. Because it is your job, along with going over budget and being short, to tell him these things.

Ari Gold: I gave you 100 million dollars. You agreed to not go over.
Vincent Chase: Because you said I couldn't direct unless we agreed.
Johnny Chase: It's like when a girl asks if you want to bang her hot sister. Of course you say 'no' but neither of you really believes you mean it, though.
Ari Gold: What is he doing here?

Ed O'Neill: Hey Ari, tell me you're not parking there.
Ari Gold: It's my studio, Ed. Don't force me to revoke your parking privileges.
Ed O'Neill: Fucking asshole.

Larsen McCredle: Ari, we sure do 'preciate you comin' out here all this way.
Ari Gold: Oh, of course.
Larsen McCredle: You been on the job nearly 8 months and hadn't payed us a visit. We're beginning to feel unloved.
Ari Gold: I didn't know I was invited.
Larsen McCredle: Oh, anybody spends my money like you do is always invited to my home to tell me why.

Arnie: A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - forever.

Don Ready: Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.

Dean Pritchard: Listen, Chang.
Megan Huang: It's Huang.
Dean Pritchard: Whatever.

Gordon Pritchard: Half these guys don't even go here and that one guy is like ninety.

Mitch: So what are you? Campus security?
Dean Pritchard: Try again.
Beanie: Jevohah Witness?
Dean Pritchard: I'm the Dean. Dean Pritchard.

Armon: This right here is your brand new Volkswagen EOS.
Molly: Come on. Can't I ride my own bike to school?
Armon: Girls your age would jump up and down at the chance to drive this thing.
Molly: Well I'm not like most girls.
Armon: Brooke Stonebridge is.
Molly: Who's Brooke Stonebridge?
Armon: It's your new identity.
Molly: Are you serious? That's not a name, it's a gated community.
Armon: I really don't care.

Tick Tock: No one ever notices time, until it's gone.