Buck: What time do you want me to pick you up after school?
Tia: Don't bother! I'll get a ride with friends.
Buck: No, I have my orders. What time?
Tia: Are you really this stupid? I said I would get a ride. I always get a ride.
Buck: Hey, I'll just call the school, find out what time, and meet you right here.
Tia: Go ahead, call the school. I won't be here.
Buck: Stand me up today, and tomorrow I'll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas and WALK you to your first class. 4:00 okay?
Tia: Uncle Buck?
Buck: Yeah?
Tia: Got a minute?
Buck: I got lots of minutes.
Tia: Now that everything's okay with my grandfather, I want to go out tomorrow night.
Buck: You can go crazy after I leave. Until then, I'm not letting you out.
Tia: You just can't find any way to be cool can you?
Buck: You mean easy? No.
Tia: I mean decent!
Buck: You mean blind!
Tia: Who are you trying to score points with? My parents? How many times have they had you over here since we moved? Try none until they went up Shit Creek and got stuck!
Buck: Get used on your parents' time.
Tia Russell: Are you crazy?
Buck Russell: I can be.
Tia Russell: You could have taken his head off!
Buck Russell: Yeah, but would he notice?
Uncle Buck: We've done the battle of the wills. The deck's stacked in my favor. You're just going to lose again.
Tia Russell: Try me.
Uncle Buck: How'd you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out of work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep? See you in the car.
Tia: Hey, Mom. Next time you take off in the middle of the night, why don't you hire a murderer to watch the house?
Greg Warner: Where's Sammy?
Kim Warner: Up in the room with Dominic and Logan.
Greg Warner: Really?
Kim Warner: They asked for three sheets and shut the door. Either they're playing ghosts, building a fort or having a clan meeting.
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