Ben Patimkin: Let me tell ya somethin'. In the real world you need a little gonif in ya. You know what that means: gonif?
Neil Klugman: Thief.
Oscar Madison: You ruined my wine.
Felix Unger: Here's a dollar. Buy another three bottles.
Felix Unger: What are you doing?
Oscar Madison: Sterilizing the wound.
Felix Unger: With beer?
Oscar Madison: It's got alcohol in it.
Oscar Madison: Don't talk to me about Christmas, will ya? All that sticky, phony goodwill. I'd like to get a giant candy cane and beat the wings off a sugar plum fairy.
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