Quotes from Jack Benny movies and TV shows

Joseph Tura: Someone walked out on me. Tell me, Maria, am I losing my grip?
Maria Tura: Oh, of course not, darling. I'm so sorry.
Joseph Tura: But he walked out on me.
Maria Tura: Maybe he didn't feel well. Maybe he had to leave. Maybe he had a sudden heart attack.
Joseph Tura: I hope so.
Maria Tura: If he stayed he might have died.
Joseph Tura: Maybe he's dead already! Oh, darling, you're so comforting.

Joseph Tura: If I shouldn't come back, I forgive you what happened between you and Sobinski. But if I come back, it's a different matter.

Joseph Tura: It's unbelievable! Unbelievable! I come home to find a man in the same boat with me and my wife says to me, "What does it matter?"
Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski: But, Mr. Tura, it's the 'zero hour'.
Maria Tura: You certainly don't want me to waste a lot of time giving you a long explanation.
Joseph Tura: No, but I think a husband is entitled to an inkling.