Mr. Levenstein: We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. So maybe it's the overstimulated times that we live in that causes young men to stick their... Instruments in such... Odd places. I knew a certain young men once who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie, and he turned out just fine. So, uhh... You're perfectly normal.
Norman Kane: That's it? Just like that, huh?
Maggie Cavanaugh: Mr. Kane, there are only two things that you have to remember - never fall asleep where anyone can see you and make sure your name is marked on your lunch.
Norman Kane: Well, I can handle that.
Howie Rottman: I'd like to dip you in Cheez Wiz and spread you all over a Ritz cracker, if I'm not being too subtle.
Charlene Morton: Boy, you some kinda freaky.
Howie Rottman: Oh, you have no idea. You got me straight trippin', boo.
Walter Kornbluth: I was right! Behold the mermaid.
Walter Kornbluth: I suppose you're just some harmless beachcomber who happens to wear a tuxedo.
Allen: I didn't even like you when I first met you.
Walter Kornbluth: Nobody likes me when they first meet me.
Walter Kornbluth: There is a mermaid in New York City.
Dr Zidell: Oh... oh... sure... sure... y-you mean this... this... this "naked girl"? How come she's got legs?
Walter Kornbluth: She has legs out of the water, she has fins in the water. You taught me that Dr. Zidell, don't you remember? You taught me all the legends.
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