Quotes from Eric Balfour movies and TV shows

Brian Peluso: You are gorgeous, absolutely, unequivocally, unrelentingly, gorgeous. With a perfect, I repeat perfect, body.

Jarrod: Where we going?
Oliver: All the way to the top is the safest place I can think of.
Jarrod: We were just up there.
Oliver: You want to stay the hell with them, be my guest.

Oliver: All right. Let's say we make it out of the building... across the marina, down the docks, we even find your friend's boat and we take off and everything. Then what?
Jarrod: We get the hell away from here.
Oliver: Where to? Catalina? Down the coast?
Jarrod: Anywhere but here.
Oliver: How do you know? How do you know those things will not follow us? How do you know this isn't happening all over the world? We're safe here. We're here! We're alive.

Jarrod: What happens when the rest of the blinds fall? We don't exactly have enough bed sheets.

Oliver: What the hell are you doing?
Jarrod: We have to let them know we're here.
Oliver: We'll let everything know we're here.
Jarrod: Help is here! Don't you see? We need to go up to the roof and be rescued.
Oliver: Does that look like a rescue chopper? Don't you get it? We are at war.

Morgan: What are we gonna do?
Kemper: I don't know... uh... we gotta call the cops, I guess.
Morgan: Um, yeah, on a list of bad ideas, that one goes, way up there. Oh, police officers, please, as you inspect a crime scene, which is now our van, please, ignore the colorful pinata, filled with marijuana, in case you happen to come across it, because it played no part, you know, whatsoever in the demise of this unfortunate, young, woman.

Erin: Tell me you did not go to Mexico to buy weed.
Kemper: We did not go to Mexico to buy weed.

Kemper: Morgan, how are you an expert on the dumbest shit?

Erin: I didn't go to Mexico to watch you get shit-faced for four days.
Kemper: That's what you do in Mexico.