Quotes from Edward Norton movies and TV shows

Kostya Novotny: Monty, I have beautiful woman, very nice.
Monty Brogan: Yeah, well, I'm not really in the mood for that. I've got a nice girl.
Kostya Novotny: I know, I know. Tonight is a special night. Last night as free man. I pick her out special, just for you.
Monty Brogan: The last girl you picked out special for me had three teeth, all in the back.

Monty Brogan: Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

Monty Brogan: I need you to make me ugly.

Bob Sweeney: There was a moment, when I used to blame everything and everyone for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed White people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek Vinyard: Like what?
Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?

Cameron: You made the fat kid a little nervous. He thinks the joint messed with your mind.
Derek Vinyard: It did.

Derek Vinyard: Alright listen up, we need to open our eyes. There's over two million illegal immigrants bending down in this state tonight. This state spend three billion dollars last year on services, on people who had no right to be here in the first place. Three billion dollars. 400 million just to lock up a bunch of illegal immigrant criminals who only got in this country because the fucking INS decided it's not worth the effort to screen for convicted felons.

Mike: Popularity is the slutty little cousin of prestige, my friend.

Allison: I can't believe you're gonna stalk me. But, um... Just so you know, tomorrow's a half-day.
Whit: Well, I'll be here then.

Whit: Why don't you want to spend the holiday with me? I miss you.
Allison: Because I hate you. Because you're a philanthropist. Because you broke Mom's heart.
Whit: Philanderer.
Allison: What?
Whit: The word you're looking for is philanderer, not philanthropist. They have a slightly different meaning.
Allison: Well, you would know.

Narrator: I wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every panda who wouldn't screw to save his species, I wanted to dump oil over all those French beaches I'd never see, I wanted to breath smoke... I felt like destroying something beautiful.

Tyler Durden: I want you to do me a favour.
Narrator: Yeah, sure.
Tyler Durden: I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
Narrator: What?
Tyler Durden: I want you to hit me as hard as you can.

Narrator: Over a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Eisenheim: My intention has only been to entertain, nothing more.

Chief Inspector Uhl: Then why are you doing this?
Eisenheim: To be with her.

Eisenheim: I thought we might end this evening with a discussion of the soul. All of the greatest religions speak of the soul's endurance before the end of life. So what then does it mean to die?

Chief Inspector Uhl: You don't know that.
Eisenheim: No. But you do.

Eisenheim: I was meant to return... I just... I kept thinking I'll find around the next corner.
Sophie: What?
Eisenheim: A real mystery. I saw remarkable things but the only mystery I never solved was... why my heart couldn't let go of you.

Eisenheim: From the moment we enter this life we are in the flow of it. We measure it and we mark it, but we cannot defy it. We cannot even speed it up or slow it down. Or can we? Have we not each experienced the sensation that a beautiful moment seemed to pass to quickly, and wished that we could make it linger? Or felt time slow on a dull day, and wished that we could speed things up a bit?

Eisenheim: Everything you have seen here has been an illusion.

Eisenheim: Do you know me?
Sophie: No.
Eisenheim: Are you quite certain that we've never met?
Sophie: Yes, of course.