Quotes from Donal Logue movies and TV shows

Dex: Y'know, no-one ever says, "Hey, God, how was your day? What can I do for you, God?" Or, "Hey, God, did you catch Letterman last night?"
Syd: Oh, and I suppose you talk to God like that?
Dex: Always. All the time.
Syd: And what does God say?
Dex: He says, "You know what? I saw Letterman and it sucked."

Dex: Why would I lie about a spider?
Syd: You lied about the spider so you could get in my tent, so.
Dex: So what?
Syd: So you could... you know, make a move on me.
Dex: You are such a self-aggrandizing, solipsistic ego queen, you don't even know.
Syd: Did you just say solipsistic?
Dex: I most certainly did.
Syd: I love that word.
Dex: I do too.
Syd: Don't even think about it.
Dex: ...solipsistic.

Syd: What do you look for in a woman?
Dex: Uh... Low Standards.

Dex: Both men and women want to have sex. It's natural, except we're on different timetables. Women want to have sex, like, y'know, fifteen minutes after us, so all right, if you hold out for twenty she'll be chasing you for five.

Dex: I'm serious. If you're hanging out with women as friends, your doing your research in the wrong library.
Dave: What's wrong with being friends with women?
Dex: Nothing, but getting out of that category of 'friend' is harder than like getting out of Alcatraz.