Quotes from David Niven movies and TV shows

Sir Francis Gromarty: One thousand pounds for an elephant? It's outrageous! You've been diddled.
Phileas Fogg: Undoubtedly. But it's not often one needs an elephant in a hurry.

Phileas Fogg: An Englishman never jokes about a wager, sir.

Saloon Hostess: Never be in a hurry. You'll miss the best parts in life.
Phileas Fogg: Madam, you don't understand. I'm looking for my man.
Saloon Hostess: So am I.

Phileas Fogg: And furthermore, you play an abominable game of whist. Good day, sir.

Phileas Fogg: Madam, will you join me on the verandah? I understand they serve an outstanding lemon squash.

Railway Official: There's still fifty miles of track to be laid between here and Allabahad.
Phileas Fogg: But the London newspapers announced the opening of this railway throughout.
Railway Official: That must have been The Daily Telegraph. Never would have read that in The Times.

Phileas Fogg: Crisis or no, nothing should interfere with tea.

Henry Brougham: Are you expecting a letter?
Dudley: Well, you never know. If I did get one, the stamp would certainly be worth saving.

Henry Brougham: I was praying for a cathedral.
Dudley: No, Henry. You were praying for guidance.

Priory: Mind the axe, my lady.

Corporal Miller: Sir, I've inspected this boat, and I think you ought to know that I can't swim.

Corporal Miller: Well, right now I say to hell with the job! I've been on a hundred jobs and not one of them's altered the course of the war! I don't care about the war anymore, I care about Roy.
Capt. Keith Mallory: And if Turkey comes into the war on the wrong side?
Corporal Miller: So what? Let the whole bloody world come in and blow itself to pieces, that's what it deserves.

[Sir Charles Lytton kisses Princess Dala.]
Princess Dala: If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.
Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if I would have kissed you.

Gerald Hardcastle: Well, Ted, you can take it from me that in the entire history of this world no man never yet had any pleasure out of a woman without having to pay it for.