Abed: I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films, but you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films.
Jeff Winger: Yeah, well you have Aspergers.
Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples - S2-E5
Abed: I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he's so much more than that. He's like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined.
Abed: My dad will only pay for classes that will help me run the family business. 9/11 was pretty much 9/11 for the falafel business.
Football, Feminism and You - S1-E6
Abed Nadir: Will they or won't they? Sexual tension.
Jeff Winger: Abed, it makes the group uncomfortable when you talk about us like we're characters in a show you're watching.
Abed Nadir: Well, that's sort of my gimmick. But we did lean on it pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode.
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