Ed Crane: And through it all, we cut the hair.
Ed Crane: Life has dealt me some bum cards. Or maybe I just haven't played 'em right, I don't know.
Ed Crane: Sooner or later everyone needs a haircut.
Ed Crane: I was a ghost. I didn't see anyone. No one saw me. I was the barber.
Hank Grotowski: I went by our station on the way home... I like that sign. I think we're gonna be all right.
Ms. Guillermo: You must love him very much.
Hank Grotowski: No, I don't. But he's my father. So, there it is.
Hank Grotowski: Let's get this over quick.
Minister: Is there a passage you'd like me to read?
Hank Grotowski: No, all I wanna hear is dirt hit that box.
Hank Grotowski: I wanna take care of you.
Leticia Musgrove: Good. Cuz' I need to be taken care of.
Sonny Grotowski: You hate me. You hate me, don't you? Answer me! You hate me don't you.
Hank Grotowski: Yes, I hate you. Always have.
Sonny Grotowski: Well I've always loved you.
Pat Candy: You know, when Adlai Stevenson was running for president, a woman came up to him on a rally one night and said, "Every thinking person will be voting for you." And Stevenson said, "Ma'am, that's not enough. I need a majority."
Richard Jemmons: The media giveth, and go fuck yourself.
Richard Jemmons: I'm blacker than you are. I got some slave in me, I can feel it.
Jigo: Well, I give up. Can't win against fools.
Jigo: When you're going to kill a god, let someone else do your dirty work.
Jigo: What do you say we give 'em a little demonstration of how fast we can run, huh?
Jigo: Are you selling soup or donkey piss?
Russell Bell: Thought is the enemy.
Nick Falzone: I know. I've been thinking too much. I had that thought actually.
Russell Bell: I used to bowl, when I was an alcoholic.
Russell Bell: If you ever want to sleep at night, don't marry a beautiful girl.
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