Quotes from Aubrey Plaza movies and TV shows

Lenore: I like your pull out couch.
Dick Kelly: Yeah? Well, I got news for ya. That's the only thing that's gonna be pulling out tonight.

Dick Kelly: We have a long standing bet - who's the better golfer. Obviously I've got the bigger three wood.
Lenore: Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina.
Jason Kelly: Holy shit.

Lenore: You're just a dirty, dirty grandpa, and I'm just a girl from Long Island City who likes to fuck old people.

Emily: If you want to tell me what to do, put me on the fucking payroll.

Ingrid Thorburn: Fuck me, Bruce. Gotham needs you.

Dan Pinto: Can we restart like a reboot?
Ingrid Thorburn: Yes, like a reboot.

Ingrid Thorburn: Talk about something cool, like food or clothes or Joan Didion.

Zach Orfman: We're going to go for a hike.
Geenie Slocum: Not a hot idea.
Maury Slocum: In broad daylight? Zach, are you nuts?
Geenie Slocum: Wait till nightfall.
Beth Slocum: Why?
Maury Slocum: Because, baby, it's safer.
Beth Slocum: At night? Who hikes at night?

Beth Slocum: I'm a zombie! Zombies eat guys.

Tatiana: One time I got high, I read the back of the shampoo bottle for thirteen hours.
Jeanie Stangle: Because it said repeat.
Tatiana: Rinse and repeat.
Jeanie Stangle: I get it.

Darius: I have no funk. I'm totally funkless.

Darius: Why do you have flames on your laptop?
Arnau: It's a gaming laptop. It's really fast.

Jeff: You never done coke or anything, when you're studying for an exam?
Arnau: Cocaine? Are you crazy?
Jeff: What is it you study?
Arnau: Biological and life sciences.
Jeff: Makes sense. So what are you doing, interning at a magazine?
Arnau: Diversity looks good on an application for grad school.
Jeff: You know what, we gotta get you laid on this vacation. That's what's gotta happen.
Darius: Vacation?
Jeff: I mean, work trip. Whatever.

Kenneth: I really like your intensity. You're, like, no nonsense.
Darius: Well, there's no sense in nonsense. Especially when the heat's on.

Jeff: So here's what I'm thinking. We're budgeted for two rooms, but if we share a room, we could use that extra money for some other shit.
Darius: For what? Drugs?

Brandy Klark: Don't you have a dick to suck?
Amber: Several! Unlike you, fucktard.
Brandy Klark: Cluck you.
Amber: Cluck? Say fuck, you loser.

Brandy Klark: It's weird, huh? It's like the minute you give up control you just know what to do without doing anything.

Willy: Brandy, what do you think would have happened if I hadn't shown up?
Brandy Klark: I probably would have swallowed.