Quotes from Ashton Kutcher movies and TV shows - page 3 of 4

Oliver Martin: What's your stance on pancakes?
Emily Friehl: I am pro-pancakes.

Oliver Martin: You figure a guy like me with a house, a job a car - a nice car - you think I'm going to have a problem finding someone to fall in love with me?
Emily Friehl: Oh, I think you're going to have a big problem.

Oliver Martin: My brother's deaf, Em. I can go days without talking.

Oliver Martin: The thing is, how can I be there for her if I don't even have my thing figured out? You know?

Oliver Martin: Emily, I'm flat broke. I don't have a job. I don't have a plan. And I know, I know I'm probably six years too late, but will you give me strike one back?

Oliver Martin: Actually, I'm here visiting my brother. He's a lawyer. Well, he's going to be. He's in law school, so.
Emily Friehl: Is that what you wanna do, too?
Oliver Martin: I don't know. I just finished school.
Emily Friehl: Don't people usually graduate in June?
Oliver Martin: Yeah.
Emily Friehl: It's almost a year ago. You still don't have a job?
Oliver Martin: What are you, my mom?
Emily Friehl: I don't know, when you look at me, do you see your mom?

Oliver Martin: Well, if it wasn't love, it was a lot like it.

Jack Taylor: What's this I hear about you threatening to spray this play with an AK-47?
Tom Stansfield: Oh... well, I was just making a joke.
Jack Taylor: Oh that's funny to you? People dying? And what's this I hear about you making fun of midgets?
Tom Stansfield: I never make fun of midgets.
Jack Taylor: You said, it would be fun to date one because then you could rest your beer on their head, now I have a sense of humour, but that's just sick.

Tom Stansfield: Hey put the crowbar down, or I will blow your ass to fucktown.

Alvin: She's just so hot.
Adam: I know how hot she is.
Vanessa: That's really sweet, thanks guys!
Adam: Fuck you!

Emma: Congrats? For what, having sex with you?
Adam: You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.

Adam: I'm warning you, if you take one step closer, I'm never letting you go.

Eli: You know what the best part about my gay dads is?
Adam: What?
Eli: They're never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.
Wallace: You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?

Emma: Do you wanna do this?
Adam: Do what?
Emma: Use each other for sex, at all hours of the day and night. Nothing else.
Adam: Yeah, I could do that.
Emma: Good. It's gonna be fun.

Alvin: How long have you two been together?
Emma: Oh, we're not.
Adam: We're sex friends.
Emma: Yes we are.
Adam: Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies.

Alvin: When you're married and you do blow, try to stay away from women who want to fuck you. Even ugly women. Blow is blind, Adam. Blow is blind.
Adam: You're an asshole.
Alvin: But you're not. You got a good heart, Adam. Try to keep it.

Adam: You can't just suddenly call me and say you miss me!
Emma: I know...
Adam: No, do not call me to say you miss me. Do not text me, do not e-mail me... Do not write it on my wall! If you really miss me, come here and tell me that!

Elliot: You know, I've been thinking, we should have a secret handshake, and like nicknames and stuff. Like, I can call you Boogster, and you can call me the Incredible Mr. E. You like that? I just made it up.

Elliot: Look at me! I'm a doe and I'm a buck. I'm a duck.

Boog: Get out of here.
Elliot: Hey, I took you out of the garage. You should thank me.
Boog: Thank you?
Elliot: You're welcome.