Monica: All I'm saying is, that girl, she has her own agenda. She doesn't care about Jonny, she doesn't know the first thing about him. She just wants a guy who's gonna do whatever she tells him to. It is a good thing that she broke up with you.
Don Jon: There's only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. My porn.
Don Jon: For the next few minutes all the bullshit fades away and the only thing in the world is those tits... dat ass... the blowjob... the cowboy, the doggie, the money shot and that's it, I don't gotta say anything, I don't gotta do anything. I just fucking lose myself.
Don Jon: I never actually touch my cock 'til I find the right clip.
Danny: Listen, I don't like more than a handful of titty. No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like, no! Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something.
Don Jon: Jesus Christ.
Bobby: Yeah, your mom do got some big-ass titties.
Danny: Don't talk about my mother.
Bobby: You brought up your mother.