Millie, Carol's Secretary: I think every man has a right to know when he's about to become a father.
Carol Templeton: Mmm. This isn't bad, either. But what color's that floor?
Leonard: Lilac.
Carol Templeton: Lilac? Leonard, who has a lilac floor in their kitchen?
Leonard: I have.
Carol Templeton: Oh. Well, Leonard, everyone isn't as artistic as you are. We have to sell this wax to ordinary, everyday people.
Leonard: Ugh, them.
Jerry Webster: Mrs. Jerry Webster.
Carol Templeton: Don't you ever call me a name like that again.
Jerry Webster: Okay, so I've sewn a few wild oats.
Carol Templeton: A few? You could qualify for a farm loan.
Northcross, Ad Council Chairman: Miss Templeton. Will you please stop challenging your own witness.
Doctor Linus Tyler: I've given this country what it has long needed. A good 10-cent drunk.
Carol Templeton: Doctor, there's so much I can learn from you.
Jerry Webster: As my father, the philosopher, used to say, "Knock at my door and I shall take you in."
Carol Templeton: Dr. Tyler, I'm knocking.
Jerry Webster: Miss Templeton, I'm taking you in.
Carol Templeton: Yesterday at the beat you kissed me and I was thrilled.
Jerry Webster: A kiss? What does that prove? It's like finding out you can light a stove. It still doesn't make you a cook.
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: I discussed it with my analyst, Dr. Melnick. He understands it. He says I depress him too.
Jerry Webster: Yeah, well he's only human.
Jerry Webster: You're going up there to have my baby. My son, and I'm.
Carol Templeton: It's my baby and I'll have what I like. And I've decided I'm having a girl.
Jerry Webster: Have whatever you like. I love you both. Now will you marry me?
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: Are you taking Mr. Webster with you?
Wallace, Liquor Industry Representative: No, he's going to San Francisco.
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: San Francisco?.. Alcatraz.
Carol Templeton: Think he'll like it?
Millie, Carol's Secretary: Well if he doesn't, he's been taking the wrong kind of chemicals.
Jerry Webster: Your trouble is that you're still living in the shadow of your father. You're even afraid to get rid of his old car.
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: You don't realise how completely he dominated me ever since I was a little boy. Just once I spoke back to him. He cut a switch from a tree and gave me such a whipping, in front of this girl. It was a shattering experience.
Jerry Webster: Pete, all kids get whippings.
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: But I was twenty five, the girl was my fiancé.
Jerry Webster: Doc, I don't care how you do it, or what it is. We've got to have VIP tomorrow.
Doctor Linus Tyler: But, what I'm working on is highly volatile.
Jerry Webster: What I'm working on his highly volatile, too.
Doctor Linus Tyler: That only gives me tonight.
Jerry Webster: Believe me, Doc. I'm in the same boat.
Jerry Webster: You haven't been in the office for two months. And that's in the best interest of Ramsey and Son.
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: I have a very good reason for not going into the office. It depresses the employees.
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey: Don't sneer. Wealthy people are hated and resented. Look what's written on the Statue of Liberty. Does it say, "Send me your rich?" No, it says, "Send me your poor." We're not even welcome in our own country.
Jerry Webster: I've only seen him a dozen or so times.
Carol Templeton: Well, what's your opinion?
Jerry Webster: I prefer to reserve judgment till I see him sober.
Carol Templeton: Oh! Doesn't that tell you what he is?
Jerry Webster: Miss Templeton, as my uncle, the missionary, used to say, "If thou canst not speak well of a man, speak not at all."
Carol Templeton: You make me feel ashamed of myself.
