Ken: You coming up?
Ray: What's up there?
Ken: Well, the view.
Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here.
Ken: Ray, you're about the worst tourist in the whole world!
Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I'd grown up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me. But I didn't, so it doesn't!
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?. Still leaves you a cunt.
Ray: Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today?
Jimmy: I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today; Wasn't waving hello to anybody. Except... Maybe to a horse.
Ray: One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.
Overweight Man: Been to the top of the tower?
Ray: Yeah, it's rubbish.
Overweight Man: The guide book says it's a must see.
Ray: Buddy, you're not going up there.
Overweight Man: Why is that?
Ray: I'm not being funny, it's all windy stairs...
Overweight Man: What are you trying to say?
Ray: What am I trying to say? You's a bunch of fuckin' elephants.
Eirik: I can't see! I can't see!
Ray: Of course you can't see! I just a shot a blank in your fucking eye!
Marie: Why don't you both put your guns down and go home?
Harry: Don't be stupid! This is the shootout.
Harry: I mean, basically, if you're robbing a man, and you're only carrying blanks, and you allow your gun to be taken off you, and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank, for which I assume the person has to get quite close to you, yeah, really it's all your fault for being such a poof.
Ray: Maybe that's what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges.
Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... Brothels are good.
Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Jimmy: Thank you.
Ray: Lots of midgets have offed themselves. I hope yours doesn't, otherwise your film'll be fucked.
Harry: Not only have you let the kid get away and failed to kill the kid, you have also prevented the kid from killin' himself, which would have solved all my problems, it would have solved all your problems, and it probably would have solved all of his problems!
Ken: It wouldn't have solved his problems, Harry.
Priest: Why did you murder someone, Raymond?
Ray: For money, father.
Priest: For money? You murdered someone for money?
Ray: Yes, father. Not out of anger. Not out of nothing. For money.
Priest: Who did you murder for money, Raymond?
Ray: You, father.
Priest: I'm sorry?
Ray: I said you, father. What are you, deaf? [Raises pistol.] Harry Waters says hello.
