Aurora De La Hoya: He was lying right there, dead as yesterday.
Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: Why am I always the last one in the neighborhood to get in bed with you?
Glenda Gardenia Parks: Chester. You just went through a stop sign.
Chester: I can't help it. I don't like to read when I drive.
Stanley: Glenda, the house looks lovely. What have you done to it?
Glenda Gardenia Parks: We had it re-shingled.
Aurora De La Hoya: Just keep saying to yourself, Aurora, only 12 more years to retirement.
Glenda Gardenia Parks: I hope they shoot you! I hope they shoot you in my kitchen! And when they drag your dead body out of here, I hope they shoot you again.
Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: The man sleeps under my bed, drives my car, and wears my tuxedo... I just want to meet him. Hold it right there. You're under arrest.
Fred: The police are on their way.
Nick Gardenia: Didn't like the chicken, huh?
Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: Is that the good Waterford crystal?
Chester: Yes, it was.
Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: Your Honor, this is the kind of testimony that looks silly on the surface.
Judge John Channing: On the surface, in the middle, and on the bottom.
Aurora De La Hoya: He took the broom and went out the back door. He didn't say what he was going to clean up.
Glenda Gardenia Parks: Oh sh.
Aurora De La Hoya: Well, maybe it was.
Aurora De La Hoya: Mrs. Parks.
Glenda Gardenia Parks: What.
Aurora De La Hoya: Don't snap at me.
Glenda Gardenia Parks: I'm sorry, I have a headache through my entire body.
Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: Is this a gag?
Fred: This is a government agency... you know we don't have a sense of humor.
Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: We're going to have a serious conversation tonight.
Glenda Gardenia Parks: I'm looking forward to it.
Nick Gardenia: Anything special you'd like for dinner?
Chester: Hot Damn! I finally get a chance to chase the po-lice.
Glenda Gardenia Parks: No kiss, Nick. I'm a married woman with a Governor inside.
Judge John Channing: Something fascinating has just come up, which in this case is redundant.
Glenda Gardenia Parks: Nick, you mustn't do this. We're in the middle of soup.