Girl: Can you sign a copy of your book for me? I got it on eBay.
Uncle Ben: They sell my shit on eBay?
Guy: You wrote a book?
Uncle Ben: Yeah. That was back when I was drinking.
Glen: Keep your voices down, people are playing.
Uncle Ben: You know a lot of people say that college is a time when young men and women expand the way that they look at their world when they open their mind to new ideas and experiences and when they begin that long journey form the innocence of Youth, to the responsibilities of Adulthood... now isn't that a load of horse shit! ahahahaha.
Hoyt Ambrose: You want me to give you something funny to laugh about?
Bartleby Gaines: You mean funnier than your future alcohol abuse?
Glen: Battle royale.
Bartleby Gaines: Schrader, come on. Don't be scared.
Sherman Schrader: Scared? I'm not scared. You're scared.
Hands: Schrader, you were scared to try the new flavor of Dr. Pepper.
Sherman Schrader: I told you that in confidence Hands.
Bartleby Gaines: Schrader, you were afraid when you're tooth fell out because you were terrified of the Tooth Fairy.
Sherman Schrader: That's actually a legitimate fear. She was rifling through my shit.
Sherman Schrader: Who was that?
Bartleby Gaines: Oh, that's our mascot.
Sherman Schrader: A sandwich? You're the shit Sandwiches?
Answer: His friend is the one that created the website and all the necessary documents for the fake school. Even if his friend was able to create such a website, this wouldn't change his transcript from high school, which would negate any abilities used to apply to another school. No matter how creative you are in falsifying documents and websites, you can't change your school transcript unless you hack the schools records, and maybe they drew the line at that. He DID apply to many colleges and was rejected by them all, as demonstrated by the beginning of the movie.
Kimberly Mason