Sean: Do you have a soul mate?
Will: Define that.
Sean: Somebody who challenges you.
Will: I got... I got plenty.
Sean: Well, name them.
Will: Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Connor, Kant, Pope, Locke.
Sean: Well that's great. They're all dead.
Will: Not to me, they're not.
Sean: You don't have a lot of dialogue with them. You can't give back to them, Will.
Will: Not without some serious smelling salts and a heater.
Morgan: Man, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all fucking bombed and been drinking. What the fuck is she gonna think about us?
Will: Yeah, Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.
Chuckie: So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and shit on the wall.
Skylar: You were hoping for a good night kiss.
Will: No, you know. I'll tell ya, I was hoping for a good night lay, but I'd settle for a good night kiss.
Skylar: [bursts out laughing.] How very noble of you.
Will: Thank you... But I was, you know, hoping for a good night kiss.
Skylar: Well, let's just get it over with. Come on, come on.
[they have their first kiss, Skylar giggling the whole time.]
Skylar: [after a few seconds, Skylar bursts out laughing.] I think I got some of your pickle!
Lambeau: Most days I wish I had never met you. Becasue then I could sleep at night. And I didn't have to walk around with the knowledge that there was someone like you out there.
Chuckie: Christ, who did you call?
Will: No one. I forgot the number.
Morgan: You fuckin' retarded? You went all the way out there and you didn't bring their number?
Will: No, it was your mother's 900 number. I just ran out of quarters.
Morgan: Why don't we get off mothers? I just got off yours!
Billy: That's pretty funny, Morgan, here's a fuckin' nickel.
Answer: There are two versions of the joke actually. The original which is found on the DVD and then the made for TV joke. I don't remember how that one goes and it doesn't seem to appear on the DVD I've got, but the original joke is: All right, there's an old couple in bed, Mary and Paddie. They wake up on the morning of their 50th anniversary. Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddie. She's like, "Oh, Jesus, Paddie. You're such a good-looking feller. I love ya. I want to give ya a little present. Anything your little heart desires, I'm goin' to give it to ya. What would you like?" Paddie's like, "Oh, gee, Mary. That's a very sweet offer. Now, in 50 years, there's one thing that's been missing, and, uh, I would like you to give me a blow job. I would like for it." Mary's like, "All right." She takes her teeth out, puts 'em in the glass. She gives him a blow job. Afterwards, Paddie's like, "yeah, geez, now that's what I've been missin'. That was the most beautiful, earth-shattering thing ever! Beautiful, Mary! I love ya! Is there anything that I can do for you?" Mary looks up to him and she goes, [Skylar takes a swig of her drink] "Give us a kiss." [And her drink comes out of her mouth, indicating what would be coming out of Mary's mouth in the joke].
Nikki
Even funnier is she has to have a Guinness or a stout so what comes out of her mouth is really dark.