Dave Spritz: People don't throw things at me any more. Maybe because I carry a bow around.
Station Assistant Director: You should say "We might see some snow, but it might shift South, and miss us."
Dave Spritz: I can see it. I sorta of wanna understand it. Why is it?
Station Assistant Director: Well, it's Canadian trade winds.
Dave Spritz: Behind all of it?
Station Assistant Director: Yeah, this will get pushed by wind out of Canada.
Dave Spritz: So what's it gonna do?
Station Assistant Director: I don't know. It's a guess, it's wind, man. Blows all over the place.
Robert Spritzel: I read your book.
Dave Spritz: Fuck. I was gonna do, some more work on it, then I chucked it.
Robert Spritzel: You chucked it?
Dave Spritz: Garbage.
Robert Spritzel: I-it's just what I do, David, I've practiced and I've gotten good. Like you and the weather business.
Dave Spritz: But I don't predict it. Nobody does, 'cause i-it's just wind. It's wind. It blows all over the place! What the fuck.
Dave Spritz: I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I'd be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that's who I am, the weather man.
Robert Spritzel: What happened to you?
Dave Spritz: I got hit with a Frosty.
Robert Spritzel: Why did you get hit with a Frosty?
Robert Spritzel: What is a Frosty?
Dave Spritz: It's a shake. From Wendy's.
Robert Spritzel: Why did you get hit with a shake?
Robert Spritzel: This shit life... we must chuck some things. We must chuck them... in this shit life. There's always looking after.
Russ: Dave, step back right now.
Dave Spritz: Fuck you right now.
Russ: Fuck you, Spritz.
Dave Spritz: Fuck you, fat asshole! Dildo.
Robert Spritzel: David, what are you doing?
Dave Spritz: I'm talking to my wife! I'm talking to Noreen, and this clown whose business this isn't.
Russ: You call me a dildo, it is my business, Spritz.
Dave Spritz: You are a dildo, pork fuck. You porker.
Dave Spritz: We both just think it's better for the kids.
Robert Spritzel: David, sacrifice is... to get anything of value, you have to sacrifice.
Dave Spritz: I know that dad, but I think that if we continue down this road, it's gonna be too detrimental for the kids. It's just too hard.
Robert Spritzel: Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.
Dave Spritz: Accuracy equals focusing on a point. Gravity pulls an inch a yard. You point up. But you have to factor in wind, which is the most difficult part.
Dave Spritz: Every couple months, someone throws something at me. A shake, a burrito once. Why? My name partly, I guess. I changed it for professional reasons, my first station manager suggested it - he said it sounded refreshing and that they wanted that quality. That may be true, but it's also annoying. I know that.
Robert Spritz: What is this sucking and chucking and jacking of fucking up, son? He's fifteen years old! What is this shit?
