'Dan' Leeson: Well, I guess a man's best friend is his mother.
Lucy Warriner: Armand, I'm wondering, could you do me a favor?
Armand Duvalle: Oh, of course.
Lucy Warriner: I've been thinking, I wonder if you could convince him that everything was just as I said it was that night at the inn. You know, the night.
Armand Duvalle: Oh, I'll be glad to, but does, uh, does he carry a gun?
Armand Duvalle: Mister Warriner, you are out of your continental mind.
Jerry Warriner: I wish Lucy would go out and get some fun for herself now and again. It would do her good. That's the trouble with most marriages today. People are always imagining things. The road to Reno is paved with suspicions. And the first thing you know, they all end up in a divorce court.
Lucy Warriner: You're all confused, aren't you?
Jerry Warriner: Aren't you?
Lucy Warriner: No.
Jerry Warriner: Well you should be, because you're wrong about things being different because they're not the same. Things are different except in a different way. You're still the same, only I've been a fool... but I'm not now.
Lucy Warriner: Oh.
Jerry Warriner: So long as I'm different don't you thing that... well maybe things could be the same again... only a little different, huh?
Armand Duvalle: I am a great teacher, not a great lover.
Lucy Warriner: That's right, Armand. No one could ever accuse you of being a great lover.
Lucy Warriner: The madcap heiress. Isn't that what they call her? Millions of dollars and no sense.
'Dan' Leeson: Are you sure you don't like that fella?
Lucy Warriner: Like him? You saw the way I treated him, didn't you?
'Dan' Leeson: That's what I mean. Back on my ranch, I got a little red rooster and a little brown hen and they fight all the time too, but every once in a while they make up again and they're right friendly.
Jerry Warriner: What did you tell him?
Lucy Warriner: I told him the truth, and strange enough, he believed me.
Aunt Patsy: Well... every time I open the door, somebody walks in.
Jerry Warriner: And if you get bored in Oklahoma City, you can always go over to Tulsa for the weekend.
Jerry Warriner: I'm going out to get some popcorn and pink lemonade. I've just seen a three-ring circus.
Jerry Warriner: What do we drink to?
Lucy Warriner: Well, let's drink to our future. Here's hoping you and Barbara will be very happy, which I doubt very much.
Jerry Warriner: No, let's drink to your happiness with Buffalo Bill, which doesn't even make sense.
Lucy Warriner: I wouldn't go on living with you if you were dipped in platinum. So go on, divorce me. Go on, divorce me! It'll be a pleasure.
Lucy Warriner: I guess it was easier to her to change her name than for her whole family to change theirs.
