J. Pierpont Finch: Just remember, Wally, we're all brothers.
J. B. Biggley: Some of us are uncles.
J. B. Biggley: I realise that I'm the president of this company, the man that's responsible for everything that goes on here. So, I want to state, right now, that anything that happened is not my fault.
Miss Jones: He was a nice boy, but somebody's head has to roll.
Hedy LaRue: A secretary was ordered to be assigned to you. I'm your assignation.
J. B. Biggley: Do you know who I am?
J. Pierpont Finch: No, sir.
J. B. Biggley: I'm J. B. Biggley, the President of this company, that's who I am. In fact, that's who the hell I am.
Mr. Gatch: Rosemary, seeing you always brightens my day. (He tries to kiss her).
Rosemary: Mr. Gatch.
Mr. Gatch: I'm gonna have to stop reading "Playboy."
TV Announcer: A day without a wicket is like a day without sunshine.
J. Pierpont Finch: Mediocrity is not a mortal sin.
J. Pierpont Finch: An emotional involvement can only lead to getting involved... emotionally.
Miss Jones: What's your name?
J. Pierpont Finch: Finch, F-I-N-C-H. J. Pierpont Finch.
Miss Jones: Well, why haven't I seen you before?
J. Pierpont Finch: Well, ma'am, I'm not supposed to deliver the executive mail. That's his job. Bud Frump, F-R-U-M-P.
Hedy LaRue: I have nothing to hide.
Rosemary: Yes you do, and you keep it hidden.
Bud Frump: Are you ambitious, Finch?
J. Pierpont Finch: No, not necessarily.
Bud Frump: Good. You just keep that in mind. If you just remember who I am and who you are, we'll get along fine. If not.
Rosemary: You go crying to your uncle.
Bud Frump: I beg your pardon, I do not go crying to my uncle! It just happens my mother is Mrs. Biggley's sister. If I feel something's wrong, I phone my mother. She phones Mrs. Biggley, and Mrs. Biggley phones Mr. Biggley. That's the democratic way.
Miss Jones: Your wife is on line 2, Mr. Biggley.
J. B. Biggley: Tell her I'm busy, tell her I'm in a meeting, tell her I'm out, damnit, put her on.
Mr. Twimble: Last month I became a quarter-of-a-century man.
J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, that's beautiful, a quarter-of-a-century.
Mr. Twimble: Quarter-of-a-century.
J. Pierpont Finch: How long have you been in the mail room?
Mr. Twimble: Twenty-five years. It's not easy to get this medal. It takes a combination of skill, diplomacy, and bold caution.
J. B. Biggley: I know blood is thicker than water, but Bud Frump is thicker than anything.
J. Pierpont Finch: What are you taking that down in?
Hedy LaRue: Long hand. It's safer. I make up for it when I type.
J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, you type fast.
Hedy LaRue: Like a jack rabbit - 12 words a minute.
