Junior: This cell phone's better than my pinkie finger any day.
Earl: Junior, you are so dumb.
Junior: I'm not dumb. YOU'RE dumb.
Earl: You ever get the feeling you're, like, being watched, Baby?
Baby: You mean by horny guys?
Doctor: Well, you need to tell that idiot who shot you that he better take some shooting lessons.
Earl: Now, don't be TOO disappointed, Doc.
Baby: You mad, Earl?
Earl: No, Baby, I ain't mad at you. I'm pretty sure Junior ain't gonna be none to happy with it, though.
Tinker: I don't got nothing to say.
Earl: Well, that's good, 'cause I was planning on doing most of the talking anyhow.
Tinker: Don't shoot me! I love your people, Ricky Martin's great. Yo quiero Taco Bell.
Tinker: I hate you, Earl.
Doctor: Now you be careful, Earl, or else my grandson might just steal that pretty gal of yours away from you.
Jimbo: Gramps, I ain't gonna steal Earl's gal, I'm gay.
Earl: If it wasn't for Baby I'd have drowned you in that river.
Junior: Well, for your information earl I can swim.
Tinker: Junior, you're so stupid they had to burn down the school just to get you out of third grade.
Baby: After work I think I'm gonna go home and change.
Earl: I don't see the point though, Baby. You just can't improve on perfection.
Baby: You want me to come with you? It's my day off.
Earl: No, Baby, I don't intend on killing anyone today so your services won't be needed.
Baby: If you ain't livin' you're dyin', Earl. I wanna live.
Tinker: I'm gonna kick the shit out of you, Earl.
Earl: So you said, Tinker.
