[Randal reads a newspaper while a customer studies two rental choices.]
Customer: They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good.
[Randal continues reading, not even acknowledging her.]
Customer: Are either of these any good?
[Randal continues to read.]
Customer: Sir!
Randal: What?
Customer: Are either of these any good?
Randal: I don't watch movies.
Customer: Well, have you heard anything about either of them?
Randal: No.
Customer: You've never heard anybody say anything about either movie?
Randal: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
[The customer turns around, then turns back with the same two movies.]
Customer: Well, how about these two movies?
[Randal still never looks up.]
Randal: They suck!
Customer: I just held up the same two movies. You're not even paying attention.
Randal: No, I wasn't.
Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate...
Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
Customer: I beg your pardon?
Randal: Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
Customer: I only pointed out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.
Randal: I hope it feels good.
Customer: You hope what feels good?
Randal: I hope it feels so good to be right. There is nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Customer: Well this is the last time I ever rent here...
Randal: You'll be missed.
Customer: Screw you!
[The customer storms out. Randal runs out into the street.]
Randal: Hey you're not allowed to rent here anymore!
Jay: Yeah!
Dante: My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!
Customers: In a row?
Randal Graves: Which did you like better? Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?
Dante Hicks: Empire.
Randal Graves: Blasphemy!
Dante Hicks: Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.
Dante Hicks: I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Dante Hicks: 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
Customer: In a row?
Silent Bob: You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?
Randal: Annoying customer.
Sanford [hockey buddy]: All I'm saying is if you're gonna be insubordinate, you might as well go the full nine. Don't pussy out when it comes to free shit to drink.
Dante Hicks: Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot!
[A man hears and heads after Veronica.]
Dante Hicks: Hey! Get back here!
