John: We've been banging together like a pair of cymbals in an overworked marching band.
John: Nothing could hold a candle to the fetish crime I just endured.
Duff: See those dead plants? I planted those.
John: Elaine never liked my sister Patty. Maybe it was because Patty was a free spirit. I say free spirit because I'm uncomfortable calling my own sister... sexually indescriminate trailer trash.
Duff: Maybe we can use slingshots to rob the place.
John: A slingshot is not a real weapon, Duff.
Duff: Oh, yeah? Well maybe you'd like to define the word "weapon' for me while this plastic doll smashes into your temple at 180 miles per hour.