Jimmy Hoffa: You always charge a guy with a gun! With a knife, you run away.
Social Worker: What's so funny?
Arthur Fleck: I was just thinking... just thinking of a joke.
Social Worker: Do you wanna tell it to me?
Arthur Fleck: You wouldn't get it.
John Shaft Jr.: You can't beat up a woman.
John Shaft II: Why not?
John Shaft Jr.: Because she's a woman! That's like, misogynistic.
John Shaft II: You're the one being misogynistic, I never even mentioned her gender! I'm an equal-opportunity ass-whooper.
Sensei: If a bear's forest catches on fire, the bear is still a bear. Even if a boat capsizes in rough seas and sinks to the bottom of the ocean with no survivors, it is still a boat.
Lionel Essrog: Tits on a Tuesday.
Batman: This is not the time for pizza.
Michelangelo: I totally don't understand any of that sentence.
Simon Legrew: Your mother's womb must be twitching in regret at bringing you into the world.
Queen: I want a guy to show me myself. I want him to love me so deeply that I'm not afraid to show how ugly I can be. I want him to show me scars I never knew I had. But I don't want him to make them go away, I want him to hold my hand while I nurse them myself. And I want him to cherish the bruises they leave behind.
Nicole: [To Dr. Tierney] My friends used to say that he molded me into what he wanted me to become so that no man could ever take his place. (00:19:20)
Howard Ratner: I know. I know. Jews and colon cancer. What's is that? I thought we were the chosen people.
Stephen: It seems like you've had quite a past.
Rex: Smile Boys... We Just Took Out The Middle Man.
Brian McCaffrey: Maybe if you bit your tongue every once in a while, your career dissipation light wouldn't be flashing right now.
Sergeant O'Neil: Do you like it out here, Ned? Living amongst the dirt and disappointment?
Tom 'Redfly' Davis: It's like they take your best 20 years and then spit you out.
Benoit Blanc: I suspect foul play. I have eliminated no suspects.
Nick Spitz: You're an actress, right?
Grace Ballard: All women are actresses, dear. I'm just clever enough to get paid for it.
Slide Olsen: Only three kinds of people wear sunglasses inside: Blind people, assholes, and blind assholes.