Jarod: I had a weird day at school today.
Stan: What happened?
Jarod: An officer came to lecture us in algebra.
Stan: What about?
Jarod: You know that kid I was telling you about the other day?
Stan: The one you had trouble with?
Jarod: Yeah, the guy who thought I was doing something with his girlfriend. He's gone missing, too.
Stan: So, that's both of them? That's strange... strange. What did you say their names were again?
Jarod: David and Lindsey.
Stan: That's right.
Jarod: They're not sure what happened to him yet, but I think he might be dead.
Stan: Why would you think that?
Jarod: Well, you can only go around being a dickhead for so long before it turns around and bites you in the ass.
Stan: So, do you think it was an accident?
Jarod: No.
Stan: Me neither.
Jarod: I think when a person like that is dealt with it should be applauded, not punished.
Stan: I couldn't agree with you more. (00:52:13)
Italian policeman 2: You wish to report a murder.
Frank Taylor: Attempted murder.
Italian policeman 2: That's not so serious.
Frank Taylor: Not when you downgrade it from murder. But when you when you upgrade it from room service, it's quite serious.
Miller: I thought we were all on the same side?
Martin Brown: Don't be naive.
Samantha Wynden: Doesn't that kind of bother you, that you need something bad to happen to profit from it?
Andrew Kaulder: You mean, like a doctor?
David Dutton: Don't ask me why I can't leave without my wife and I won't ask you why you can.
Markus Kane: Joey. Joey. The box, with its implications of rigidity and squareness, symbolizes unimaginative thinking and painful frustration.
Centurion Quintus Dias: Brick, put the fuckin' knife away.
Dylan Dog: See? That's just what this case needed. A seven-foot tall, flesh-eating zombie. Which begs the question, are there any actual people left in New Orleans?
Mr. Nobody: It's ironic, isn't it? The Old Testament had a wrathful God, but people became uneasy with the concept, needed a best seller, so they came up with a New Testament. Suddenly God was loving and forgiving. I'm old-school, myself. I prefer the Old Testament. I mean you've got to love a God who's not afraid to mete out a little vengeance when the need arises.
James: I exist.
Edgar Frog: Death to all vampires?
Alan Frog: Maximum body count.
Edgar Frog: We are awesome monster bashers.
Alan Frog: The meanest.
Edgar Frog: The baddest.
Young David: What is it?
Young Rachel: It doesn't have a name.
Young Stephan: Shit.
Young David: Now it does.
Sara Ludlow: I have lots of boyfriends. I mean, I'm not a slut.
Chris: Of course you're not.
Sara Ludlow: But, different guys are interesting for different reasons. You're interesting for a very specific reason.
Marybeth: Please. I just want to bury my family. And if I can take out that monster with me, then all the better.
Reverend Zombie: You can't kill him. He'll just be reborn. He's forced to return to the state he was when he was killed. You can't kill a ghost.
Marybeth: Maybe I can't or maybe I can. But I'm going to bury that hatchet into his fucking face.
Katie Marks: I've never been closer to anyone, and I don't know you at all.