Sally: I hate having sex at home. I've got a listening flatmate.
Jane: Oh no, I hate those. Do you have to be really quiet for her?
Sally: No, I have to be really loud. We're very competitive.
Christopher Titus: Cain slew Abel... oh, happy, happy Cain.
Bernard: The little man in my hair is getting very annoyed.
Darien Fawkes: The Scottish philosopher Balfour said that destiny is the scapegoat we make responsible for our crimes. He was probably right, too, but I bet he was real dull at parties.
Kagome: Mayu, I don't think you were ever an evil spirit. You were just an ordinary little girl who loved her mom more than anything.
Richard: You're looking at my girlfriend's breasts.
Larry: First of all, Richard, they're not breasts. They're not breasts, they're just big chemical balls, okay?
Carl: If you need anything, you know who to look to. Someone else.
Jackie: Wait! Bayblonian urn.
Ratso: What's a Babylonian urn?
Finn: Probably more than we do!
Opening theme song: Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. Life is unfair.
Susan: I have decided to put an end to this madness that is ruining all our lives.
Michael: You're going to kill dad?
Jimmy Hughes: Wait, I thought you said you would support my decision no matter what.
Christine Hughes: Yeah! If you made the right one.
Steven Harper: Whenever you don't know what to do, choose the hardest thing, because nine times out of ten, that's the right thing to do.
Louis Stevens: I am making a quality cucumber shake here.
Ren Stevens: Not on my time.