Best comedy TV quotes of 1996

See Dick Run (1) - S1-E20

Sally: You know, I just really resent how we're supposed to jump every time the Big Giant Head sends a message.
Dick: I know. Everyone knows he only got the job by kissing the big giant butt.

Frank Barone: What's for brunch, Marie?
Marie Barone: Ham.
Frank Barone: Excellent. I shall put on my ham pants.

All the Wrong Moves - S5-E8

Charlie: Paul someone wants you outside.
Paul: Who?
Charlie: Everyone in here.

The_Iceman

Zelda: So that's your plan?
Vesta: Please, I don't plan! I scheme.

Chris Potter: Shiny cow. Shiny cow. Mooo.

Mandark: George, what do you say we cross the Delaware?

Dinner for Four / Phoebe Skips - S4-E5

Rhonda: She asked you to do WHAT to my Caprini cardigan?
Lila: Snip the tags out?
[Helga grabs Lila].
Helga: Lila, what are you doing? You're not supposed to ask her!
Lila: I just didn't feel right about destroying Rhonda's personal property... without getting her permission first. It seemed, well, ever so wrong.
Helga: Yeah, well, guess what? You're ever so FIRED!

zenee

Thelma: None of my memory banks have deleted information in the past 39 hours. A new record.