Best comedy TV quotes of 1996

See Dick Run (1) - S1-E20

Sally: You know, I just really resent how we're supposed to jump every time the Big Giant Head sends a message.
Dick: I know. Everyone knows he only got the job by kissing the big giant butt.

Frank Barone: What's for brunch, Marie?
Marie Barone: Ham.
Frank Barone: Excellent. I shall put on my ham pants.

All the Wrong Moves - S5-E8

Charlie: Paul someone wants you outside.
Paul: Who?
Charlie: Everyone in here.

The_Iceman

Dinner for Four / Phoebe Skips - S4-E5

Helga: I can't believe I told them the truth, and I wound up washing dishes.
Arnold: Come on, don't you feel better that you did the right thing?
Helga: No, not really.
Arnold: I think you do.
Helga: No, I don't, Arnold.
Arnold: You know Helga, I think what you did is pretty sophisticated.
Helga: Really?
Arnold: Yeah.
[Arnold sprays Helga with water and winks at her].
Helga: Oh, just shut up and rinse.

zenee

Kenan: Who loves orange soda?
Kel Kimble: K-K-Kel loves orange soda.
Kenan: Is it true? Is it truuuue?
Kel Kimble: Mmmhhmmm! I do, I do, I do-oooh.

Thelma: None of my memory banks have deleted information in the past 39 hours. A new record.

Mandark: George, what do you say we cross the Delaware?

Zelda: What's the matter?
Sabrina: What's the matter? I have to be a witch, I have to be a mortal, I have to be a teenager and I have to be a girl all at the same time. That's what's the matter.
Salem: At least you still have your thumbs... and a door on your bathroom.