[Alan is explaining to Sarah why Van Pelt is chasing him.]
Sarah: Well, have you ever thought about sitting down and talking about your differences?
Alan: What are you, crazy? The man has a gun.
Sarah: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan. Ever. Because everyone in this town has been calling me crazy ever since I told the cops you were sucked into a board game.
Glenn: You're not going anywhere.
Elvis: But I'm hungry.
Glenn: Eat your hat.
Pat Finley: Who wants to tell us the lesson we learned here?
Roy: Don't put Twinkies on your pizza.
Marie Stahlbaum: I had to, mother. Nutcracker was in danger.
Mrs. Sthalbaum: The only one who was in danger was you. How could you have been so carless as to bump your head? We’ve all been very worried about you.
Fritz Stahlbaum: Not me! Marie’s head is so hard, the floor would crack before she would.
Mrs. Sthalbaum: That’ll be enough Fritz!
Pocahontas: It would've been better if we'd never met. None of this would have happened.
John Smith: Pocahontas, look at me. I would rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you.
Pecos Bill: I ought to plug you two right now, but I make it a rule never to kill a man on Sunday.
Zeb: Today's Wednesday.
Max: Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy: 'Cause, I don't want you to end up in the electric chair.
George Banks: Mr Habeeb, this is not a piece of land. This is my home and I'm gonna be a father again and I don't want to bring my baby home to a condo on the beach! I wanna drive down that street and I wanna pull into this driveway and I wanna honk my horn.
Morgan: Stop your chatter and say something Latin-ish.
Diane Barrows: It was there, I know it, that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over - the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.
Gilbert Sipes: Go play your banjo, Goober.
Shiho: Tidy up quickly and take that lunch box to Dad.
Shizuku: What?
Shiho: What do you mean by that tone? You're going to the library, right? Or shall I go instead? Then you can clean the toilet, the bathroom, and the entryway too, and go to the co-op for me. And take in the futons, do the shopping, and prepare dinner.
Shizuku: Goodbye.
Tom Sawyer: Muff's innocent Huck, we gotta help him.
Huck Finn: We ain't gotta do nothing.
Tom Sawyer: You'd let him hang for something he didn't do.
Huck Finn: It ain't no skin off my back.
Junior Healy: I'm getting out.
Ben Healy: You can't just get out of a moving vehicle.
Junior Healy: Well anything's better than listening to this lecture.
Maya: All women are princesses, it is our right.