Officer Pete Davis: Arrest you? I could kill you.
Fergus: Have you ever tried to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?
Shannon Christie: Pretend you love me.
Joseph Donnelly: I pretend I love you.
Shannon Christie: I pretend I love you, too.
Ben: If you kill a whale, you get Greenpeace and Jacques Cousteau on your back, but wipe out sardines and you get a canning subsidy.
Professor Nikolias: Do you know how many children die every year from choking on french fries? Many more than from Adrenoleukodistrophy. You see, ours is what is known as an orphan disease, too small to be noticed, too small to be funded, especially with the iron hand of "Reganomics."
Hampton Pig: Speak to me, Plucky.
Plucky Duck: Auntie Em, is that you?
Anton: Man and woman together make flower. Douglas, you are stem. Katya, you are petal. Together, we make flower.
The Lieutenant: Get with the program.
Jimmy Hoffa: I'm gonna give ya a piece of advice. Don't ask for something if it's a burden to ya if ya get it.
Jeffries: It was a dream! We live inside a dream.
Patrick Zevo: Are you taking my duplication investigation seriously or are you disrespecting my duplication investigation?
Lane Bodine: I've never met anyone like you... you're honest, even when you lie.
Chris Cross: How come you don't got somebody? Aren't you lonely?
Emmett: Yeah, sure. The only thing worse than being lonely with yourself is to be lonely with someone. (00:55:25)
Sidney Deane: Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody? For Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?
Older Mike: History is all in the mind of the teller. Truth is all in the telling.
Peter Hoskins: What goes into one, Rita? A Long Island Iced Tea?
Rita Boyle: I'm sorry darling, I've forgotten.
Peter Hoskins: What, do you have it all written down behind the bar or something?
Rita Boyle: I'm on vacation.
Peter Hoskins: So you can't remember a drink recipe for something that I would like to order?
Rita Boyle: Peter, you're doing it again. You take a perfect situation and you pee all over it.
McGivern: If I don't get total tit tonight, I will be using this razor to cut my throat. As I see it, sex is my only reason for living.
Charlie Dillon: Then be careful you don't cut your hand.
Cesar Castillo: In the name of the Mambo, the Rumba, and the Cha cha cha.
Margaret Schlegel: I deny it's madness.
Henry Wilcox: But you said yourself.
Margaret Schlegel: It's madness when I say it, but not when you say it.
Jack Kelson: Keep my name outta your mouth.