Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you private?
Private: Sir, five foot nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five foot nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!
Adrian Cronauer: You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
Sgt. Gustav Wagner: This morning, two prisoners escaped from North Camp. Thirteen other prisoners, no doubt inspired by their idiotic example, also tried to escape. If any of you would like to cheer, go right ahead. There will be no more escape attempts in this camp. I'll repeat that. there will be no more escape attempts in this camp.
Maxton: I heard you resigned from the Scouts.
Jim: I've become an atheist.
Washburn: Oh man, if you can't fry it, I won't eat it.
Clell Hazard: And hey, Goody, watch your mouth.
"Goody" Nelson: Fuckin'-A-a-a-a.
Grandfather George: You want to know why they're called Faith, Hope, Grace and Charity?
Bill Rowen: Why?
Grandfather George: Your Grandmother. She named them after the virtues I lack. That's marriage for you.