The Mystery of Skull Island - S6-E14
Al Bundy: "I Care", by Al Bundy. When hooters jiggle around and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a Mustang engine purrs and the bathroom is not hers, I care. When the pitchers on the mound and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays, I SWEAR!
Alan: You're having an affair with him, aren't you?
Sarah: Of course I'm not, Alan. I mean he's fat and flabby, and, uh, he's got horrible greasy hair.
Alan: Didn't stop you with Nigel Lawson, did it?
Marie: Connie, you can't blame inanimate objects. I've tried!
Edison Carter: What happened to the old religions?
Murray: I don't know. Television killed it. We have better miracles.
Jesse: Joseph, it's finally happened! He's cleaning liquid soap.
Danny Tanner: Don't be silly. I'm just cleaning my rubber gloves.
Joey: Danny, there's no shame in therapy.