Chandler Jarrell: I don't know, maybe he cut himself shaving and bled to death looking for a kleenex.
Remy McSwain: If I can't have you, can I have my gator?
Frances: Blind Dog and Lightning Boy? Who the hell are you guys supposed to be?
Eugene Martone: We're bluesmen.
Willie Brown: I'm the bluesman, he's from Long Island.
Chaz: Hey guy, your fly is open and your Hostess Twinkie is hanging out.
Fidget: I'm going! I'm going! I'm going.
William of Baskerville: The only evidence I see of the antichrist here is everyones desire to see him at work.
Norman Bates: Conservative clothes never go out of style.
Zarabeth: Hang loose, stay cool, and don't forget your psychic humor.
Sandy: I don't know if you're a detective or a pervert.
Jeffrey: Well, that's for me to know and you to find out.
Hercule Poirot: Children are erratic, or so I'm told. I don't have the privelege of knowing many.
Hercule Poirot: Have you ever noticed a secret passage that does not start in the library?
Alex Sternbergen: I gotta call Jackie, maybe he call help. He's smart, he knows the people that are in charge.
Turner Kendall: In charge of what?
Alex Sternbergen: Everything. The world.
Turner Kendall: He's a hair dresser.
Alex Sternbergen: That's what he does, that's not what he is.
Reporter: Is that a threat, your highness?
Grand Duke Cyril Romanov: No, it's an expression of intent.
Bobby Shy: When a man pulls shit on me he is either very brave or very stoned. Which one are you?