Matt: The only reason you stay here is so you can fuck my mother and eat her food. motherfucker. food eater.
Marion Cobretti: You're a disease, and I'm the cure.
Remy McSwain: If I can't have you, can I have my gator?
Margaret 'Meg' Magrath: Why'd you do it, Babe? Why'd you put your head in the oven?
Rebeca 'Babe': I don't know... I'm having a bad day.
William of Baskerville: The only evidence I see of the antichrist here is everyones desire to see him at work.
Mark Kaminsky: Because of you a lot of people are dead. And now it's your turn.
The Cowboy: Slim, I ain't never seen a handgun that big before.
Frank Dooley: Yeah, it's a 50 caliber. They used to use it to hunt buffalo with... up close! It's only legal in two states. And this isn't one of them.
The Cowboy: You're somthin' else, Slim.
Jack Casey: Sometimes things don't happen the way you planned, sometimes you could end up lower than you started.
Det. Bob Keppel: The MO of the Ted at Lake Sammamish, same fractures to the victim's skulls, and the same mountain location where the bodies were dumped all add up to one human... monster.
Ariadne Oliver: So what did you come up with? I'm dying to know.
Hercule Poirot: So am I.
Lipton: I've really admired your stuff since 'Vermin From Venus.'.
Rollie Tyler: You saw that?
Lipton: Yeah.
Andy: That's the one that got him deported from Australia.
Jill: You got a name?
Brad Whitewood Jr.: Brad?
Jill: You don't sound so sure.
Harry Doyle: And I ain't goin' to your funeral.
Archie Long: You ain't invited.
Jim Halsey: Why are you doing this to me?
John Ryder: You're a smart kid... figure it out.
Motel philosopher: Remember, no matter what, it's better to be a live dog than a dead lion.
Capt. Proctor: Mahoney must think he's as dumb as we are.
Hercule Poirot: Have you ever noticed a secret passage that does not start in the library?
Will Graham: I thought you might be curious to see if you're smarter than the person I'm looking for.
Hannibal Lecktor: Then, by implication, you think you're smarter than me, since it was you who caught me.
Will Graham: No. I know that I'm not smarter than you.
Hannibal Lecktor: Then how did you catch me?
Will Graham: You had disadvantages.
Hannibal Lecktor: What disadvantages?
Will Graham: You're insane.
Sandy: I don't know if you're a detective or a pervert.
Jeffrey: Well, that's for me to know and you to find out.
Alex Sternbergen: I gotta call Jackie, maybe he call help. He's smart, he knows the people that are in charge.
Turner Kendall: In charge of what?
Alex Sternbergen: Everything. The world.
Turner Kendall: He's a hair dresser.
Alex Sternbergen: That's what he does, that's not what he is.