Jack: Wendy, darling, light of my life, I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm just gonna bash your brains in. Gonna bash 'em right the f*ck in!
Crazy Ralph: You're doomed! You're all doomed.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: We are only interested in friendship. Why do you attack us?
The Emperor Ming: Why not? Pathetic earthlings. Hurling your bodies out into the void, without the slightest inkling of who or what is out here. If you had known anything about the true nature of the universe, anything at all, you would've hidden from it in terror.
Harold: The Mafia? I've shit 'em.
John Russell: It's my understanding... that there are, uh... twenty-three students registered... for this series of lectures on advanced musical form. Now, we all know it's not raining outside, and unless there's a fire in some other part of the building that we don't know about, there's an awful lot of people here with nothing better to do.
Eli Cross: It's not what he's eating, but what's eating him that makes it... sort of interesting.
Elizabeth Solley: Listen, I never hitchhiked before. I just really want to be careful. Can I ask you something?
Nick Castle: Sure.
Elizabeth Solley: Are you weird?
Nick Castle: Yes, I am. Yes, I am weird.
Elizabeth Solley: You are weird. Thank God you're weird. The last one was so normal, it was disgusting.
Doctor Robert Elliott: Doctor, I am not paranoid. Bobbi was making threats over the phone. She said she's going to hurt me. My patient was slashed to death. And now my razor is gone. Now you don't have to be a detective to figure it out, do you?
Michelle Stratton: How many languages do you speak?
Julian Kaye: Five or six.
Michelle Stratton: Plus the, uh, international language?
Julian Kaye: That's right.
Arthur Rosenberg: The way I feel, I don't expect to go to sleep for a year. I'm on fucking fire.
Carne: Have you ever shoveled any coal?
Lola Brewster: I could eat a can of Kodak and puke a better movie.
Harry "Santa": But now I want you to remember to stay good boys and girls. Respect your mothers and fathers and do what they tell you. Obey your teachers and learn a whooooole lot! Now if you do this, I'll make sure you get good presents from me eeeevery year. Ha ha ha... but if you're bad boys and girls, your name goes in the 'Bad Boys and Girls' book, and I'll bring you something... horrible.
Guy in elevator: What is this... fucking SHIT going on here?
