Claudius: A man should keep faith with his friends, even when they're dead.
C.J.: What the eye doesn't see is goose for the gander.
Squiggy: I woulda worn my tuxedo but my polo pony ate it.
Major Greg 'Pappy' Boyington: The only way we're gonna win this war is if Tokyo is more fouled up than Washington.
Waldorf: Well, you gotta give them credit.
Statler: Why's that?
Waldorf: Well, they're gonna keep on doing it till they get it right.