Claudius: A man should keep faith with his friends, even when they're dead.
C.J.: What the eye doesn't see is goose for the gander.
Squiggy: I woulda worn my tuxedo but my polo pony ate it.
Major Greg 'Pappy' Boyington: The only way we're gonna win this war is if Tokyo is more fouled up than Washington.
Waldorf: Pay up! They made it through another one.
Statler: Double or nothing next week's show?
Waldorf: You're on.